Collaborate without boundaries

Day 18...almost halfway there.

  • Comments 7

This dare went well, I made him some chinese food that has a sweet pineapple sauce. He had told me before he like it. We sat down to eat and talked together instead of watching a movie, and I discovered one thing I didn't know before. He turned the tables on me and asked me for something he didn't know. He then talked about his day a little bit. It was after dinner when I was cleaning the kitchen and he was folding clothes that it all went to pot. The dryer was on and loud, so when he began talking to me I began asking for clarification of what he was saying. He blew up and began listing everything that is wrong with our relationship, then began packing. One of our Rules of Engagement is to not mention the d word...and he didn't...but he packed up to leave. Might as well have mentioned the d word. And this was all because I couldn't hear him and 'dared' to question him. Well, I emptied the truck and gave him the key and said don't have too much fun. He was a bit taken back and began backpedalling. Sigh. I really do not like where we are, relationally, right now.

  • Well what a bummer that it went downhill after such a wonderful start. At first I was going to say it's wonderful that you talked and found out something new about each other and that is a great way to form a stronger bond but then after reading on I was let down myself. It sounds like he is harboring some resentment.

    Here is a devotional I read today that I think applies to you and your husband:

    Here is a list of the devil’s greatest weapons against marriage: Broken hearts, imprisoned lives, and eyes that fail to see reality.

    None of us plan to get divorced when we are standing at the altar to be wed. This tells me that, under normal circumstances, we would choose to stay married for the rest of our lives. Why is it, then, that so many people get divorced? The answer is that these weapons sneak into our hearts and pervert our will until we make choices we would never normally make. For example, broken hearts never completely mend with time. Instead, they become like infected wounds that, though they are not bleeding anymore, still painfully hurt every time they are touched. So when our spouse does something that remotely hits that sore spot, we react out of pain—not from what our spouse did, but from what someone else once did that broke our heart. This reaction often causes more pain and begins to divide our marriage, and soon we wonder how we are ever going to feel the love again when all we feel is hurt.

    Or consider a life imprisoned by pornography, drugs, or alcohol. You can try with all your might to remain faithful to your spouse, but your addiction leads you to do things you hate. You know the destruction your habits are causing, but you don’t know how to get free. These issues lead to our last one—eyes that fail to see reality. Broken hearts and captive lives communicate certain devastating lies—”He doesn’t love me.” “Our marriage is hopeless.” These are not the truth, but they are things that people say out of pain and desperation. He does love you, but he’s captive and needs help. She does love you, but her heart is broken and she needs you to be her hero right now and not deepen the wounds by abandoning her.

    We try to reason away these lies by saying, “If I had known she was that kind of person, I never would have married her.” Well, guess what—Jesus knew you were that kind of person and that’s why He came—to heal the brokenhearted, give sight to the blind, and set the captives free, and in so doing prepare for Himself a pure and spotless bride.

    We have all been part of the problem, but He came to be the solution. Whatever difficulty you are facing in your marriage right now, there is hope. Turn to Jesus today and ask Him to do in your marriage what He has promised.

    Prayer

    Lord Jesus,

    You are God and You can do all things! I need a miracle in my marriage. Please heal our broken hearts, set us free, and help us to see true reality. Please make our marriage all You desire it to be!

    Amen

  • Thank you,  Eddie!

  • I had to laugh because i remember being half way there.  And how 20 days feels like an eternity sometimes when we are doing the dares. And we frequentlhy have expectations that at the end of 40 days, our marital problems will be solved.  But, we have to keep looking at this as a journey between us and Christ.  and have no expectations of our spouse for now.

  • You drew a line, and without words gave him an ultimatum.  When you do that, you take control from God and choose to force something to happen.  You may not have intentionally have done that when you emptied the truck and gave him the key.  But, you did.

  • Thank God that when you followed your emotions and did this, it did not backfire as it so easlly could and he coulld have left, but even though he didn't leave, he may hold resentment for those actions you took.  

    With his actions you say he might have said the d word.  And he is thinking the same about you. With your actions you might as well have said the d word.

  • Thank God that when you followed your emotions and did this, it did not backfire as it so easlly could and he coulld have left, but even though he didn't leave, he may hold resentment for those actions you took.  

    With his actions you say he might have said the d word.  And he is thinking the same about you. With your actions you might as well have said the d word.

  • In all things, remain patient and kind.  This is key for him to see you being consistent, and next time your flesh says be emotional, you need to lead your heart instead.  

Page 1 of 1 (7 items)