Collaborate without boundaries

Love is not irritable....but I have become irritable.

  • Comments 4

Why am I so irritable?  It is relational...there is so much arguing, division, and bitterness in our relationship. I have always been sensitive to angry people--even as a young person if a teacher showed displeasure with me I would cry. I toughened up as I grew...but I remain the same person inside. Now my husband has endured a painful three years of incarceration, as well as coming home and finding things were not kept the same. His response is anger and bitterness and rage. No matter what I do I cannot keep him from lashing out at me...even when its not my fault--and it usually is not my fault. My training tells me this is because he feels safe with me, but I am not comforted. I am just scared, all the time. 

And if that isn't enough...I knew when he returned he needed to be given space to make decisions. As much as I HATE him moving things in my house (I am legally blind without corrective lenses, so I need for peace of mind to have everything have a place), I allowed him to come in and change everything. But it never stopped...I found things I was searching for a year and half later in the craziest places! So I stopped caring what my house looked like. I started barking at him when I couldn't find something...and I harmed our relationship. 

What it boils down to is that I have taken my eyes off of Jesus. I am back to being insecure because I have forgotten that He will fight for me. I MUST commit to spending time with Him in the mornings, to strengthen me so that I can give forgiveness and understanding instead of hurt and resentment to my husband. And I commit to caring, again, about my house and my things. If he wants to change it...that is fine. But he will also know that I care about things. He already has given me a room that I can call my own.

  • Jesus must be first. Above all else. He will never let you down. The things in the house being moved around are not that important. You don't want life to be too easy. You wouldn't be able to grow in character and spirit if it was.

    Your husbands bitterness and rage can subside if he sees patience and understanding in you. Resentment is harmful to harbor. Give it to God and let Him work it out with your husband.

    "And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’No other commandment is greater than these.”

    Mark 12:30-31

  • You are right, I wouldn't want life to be too easy!! Thank you for the encouragement...I appreciate you!

  • I will sound ignorant, but hopefully not rude.....Could you wear the corrective lenses all the time to make your life and his easier?  I know, I am stating the obvious.

    Welcome.  Realize this will be a journey, one between you and Christ, not you and him.  He will be used as a tool to mold you. do a dare a day, no more, no less.  Do not read ahead in the book except for the appendix, especially about leading the heart.  Have no expectations when you do the dares.  in fact, things may get worse before they get better. If so, it will serve purpose.  

    The things you want or should change about you will happen when you do the dares as intended, without changing them to make them easier.  

  • Thank you, Tim!

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