Today is Day 9 of the third time I have tried the Love Dare.  Not 3 times consecutively, but during the last 15 years. Geez... 15 years is a long time to be married to someone that doesn't want to be loved! Husband is a "good man" to the outside world.  To his wife and kids, he is cold and easy to anger and takes out his frustrations on those he "loves the most".  Unfortunately, this person comes and goes.  Some days I have a loving, funny, amazing husband and then the next day, he is a shell of a man.  After 15 years together, I realize this is his problem.  I tried for years to fix him, make him happy somehow, but with little or no success. That in turn, made me depressed and lonely.  So now, I make my own happiness and try and raise our two sons with as little collateral emotional damage as I can.  I try these little challenges every day to remind MYSELF that I am with him for a reason.  That God wants me to help him through life. That I am his "person" even if he can't emotionally be mine.  We have tried counseling multiple times, together and me alone, we tried a 2 week trial seperation.  We have been through a lot.... and still here we are. He has moments of clarity and regret for his uncaring attitude towards us, but then an hour later, will deny he even talked about it.  At this point, I just say OK and shake my head.  I can't help but think I could be so much happier with a mate who WANTED to be with me, instead of one that is stuck with me. But I keep doing to dares and waiting for the days of kindness and love. I have already greeted him this morning with a good morning, a goodbye kiss, and then visited his work later (same building as me) and greeted him with a smile.  I wish I could keep him stress free and happy, but that is his work to do.  Prayers would be welcomed!