Collaborate without boundaries

This ride continues to roll but I am not alone.

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So I am now on my second round of the Dare's.  Yesterday not really thinking back to the order of the dares and trying to still take them one day at a time without looking ahead like I did the first time.  I stopped at the bar that my wife goes to most Wed. nights, bought a gift card for her, and left it with her favorite bar tender.  I had asked him to just use it when they ordered and to tell her, "someone has your back", and not tell her who it was from.  This was the unexpected kind action for Day 2.  Unfortunately the bar tender just gave her the gift certificate and she recognized my hand writing.

Then last night after she got home she reached out to me, and we started talking, and one thing lead to another, and I was able to fulfill a dare from the last round, that hadn't been completed yet.  It was great to be intimate with her in that way again.  I know not to get my hopes up, or to take my eyes off of Christ.  I have given praise to God for that blessing, and confessed to him my pursuit for him will not stop.

Today was Day 3 and I see I was to buy her something… opps I maybe should have done a different kind act.  So I couldn’t really think of what she would want, but then remembered her telling me how sore her body was, from the workout program she is in.  So I found a spa and got her a gift card to go there.  It was more expensive then what I would typically spend, but then I thought, isn’t that the point of the dare.  To push yourself past the comfort zone of self and invest in the relationship, and to give freely.

I am fortunate because my wife does respond to most of my dares, and doesn’t just ignore the dares like I have seen on here form others.   Today she did thank me than asked me to stop buying her things, and to spend that money on our daughter.  I told her I understand where she was coming from, but I also know that our daughter has both of us spending on her and has more than what she needs.  No one is taking care of her right now, and that she won’t spend on herself for things like that.  I also went on to say that I don’t expect anything or assume that we are back together or that the debt is to be repaid.  That God blesses me with surprises and blessings, and so I am to do the same for the ones I love.  I know she struggles taking things from guys even letting them buy a drink at the bar because then they think she might be willing to do more with them.  She is kind of a flirt so guys get thinking that with her easily anyways. 

Ultimately she responded to me saying thank you for thinking of her.  I do think she was feeling a little overwhelmed with just how things played out, and was pushing back or pulling away.  Honestly I expected it today, so I wasn’t hurt at all.

I guess I am rambling, but want to say thank you God!  Not just for last night, but for all you have done for me in the first time threw, and the start of the second round.  I was the lost sheep, and you left the other 99 to come find me.  You used my wife and this book to lead me back to the flock.  I now am not alone and can continue on this journey with my shepheard and my savior!

  • Glad to see you do a round two.  And doing the dares like Caleb did in the movie.  Desiring to do the dare without her knowing the gift card came from you.  As I think God blessed Caleb with her finding out what he bought for his mother in law, you were blessed by God by her finding out the card was from you.  If you would have given it to her, I don't think it would have had the same impact.

    And great even after experiencing intimacy, you prioritized God first.

  • I know the feeling of spending more than typical on a gift.  And that dare just opened up your heart to be more generous in the future.  (Not implying you weren't generous before.)

    The second round I think you are already experiencing it in a different way than the  first round, which is good.  

    And keep consistent in building your  testimony, the second round is a good way to do so.  She sees and likes the changes, but are the changes real in her mind?  She will question that in her mind.  And wonder is he just trying to win me back or can this really be the new him.  She needs to see consistency over time, that will equal trust in her eyes.

  • It is a blessing she responds better than some of our spouses to the dares.  but us that have spouses that do not respond or respond with venom are blessed in a way that we are truly forced to find our comfort in Christ.  So, even more so than some of us, you need to really focus in making sure your comfort is from Christ first.  And by what you are saying, you are doing this.  

  • SO happy for you Trey! That you have come to a place where you found yourself in constant connection with other believers and with God!

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