Collaborate without boundaries

The Flesh is screaming!

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I started the day on a great high.  I thought it was because I was faithful last night, and resisted the temptation to snoop, reached out for support, and overcame the urge to try and take back the situation of my wife and who she is dating.  All though this was a victory, I see now that my Joy was coming from the 10 minute text conversation that I had with my wife last night.  For those ten minutes and as I went to sleep I felt connected to her again.  I woke up in a great mood, went for a bike ride before work, and was singing praises to the Lord.  Now that is after lunch and I haven't had any interactions with her, I realize that I still have my wife as my Higher Power, and am trying to still please her not Christ.  I am praying and trying to connect with God and draw strength and joy from him.  I struggle with it because it is not something I am truly use to doing. God Please scoop me up and carry me through this trial, I am weak and you are strong.


I also have another woman that is in full pursuit of me, and reaching out and flirting with me.  I want that so badly to be my wife.  I feel like I am under attack, and the enemy knows I am week right now.  I want to say well she has a boyfriend why can't I, even though I know that is not what God wants, and it will only cause more conflict.  I just want to be loved, and wanted, and am really struggling connecting with God's love and desire right now.


I will continue to be obedient, and pray.... 

  • Your words spoke right to my heart this morning! I too had positive interactions last. Ugh that and my anxiety is gone. I am praying this morning that God will remain my focus and not on how positive he took my love dare and our one other interaction last night. He even kissed me so sweetly as I left! But I know if things turn around completely now I will go back to the selfish demanding person I was before... I almost want little response to today's love dare so I can continue on growing in God and not depending on my man for myself worth and self esteem.  God is faithful in this too I am sure. And it may be negative today ans I've heard many stories of people retreating or going back to being cold when things go well the first few times. I sent my request to see him to complete my dare (we live seperately) and we will see how it goes. Just keep praying and doing what God asks you to do!

  • Hey Notaboutme...

    I am so happy for you that you were able to share that embrace.  I was able to have a hug a week and a half ago, and it was amazing.  Be aware though that in my experience it wasn't long after that, that things turned for the worse very quickly.  It was shortly after this hug, and a 5 hour phone conversation that she turned to another man.  I don't know why, but I wonder if it didn't have to do with the fear she felt about getting close to me again and being hurt yet again, as well as the enemy going all out to ensure destruction.  

    For example as I sat in my office today, feeling very lonely and trying to tap into God's love, I had a  lady from work stop in, and flat out ask when she can come over, and if we can be intimate soon.  It filled me with anxiety, and fear, and I was thankful for those.  I had no lust in my heart for her, and it was very surprising to me that this was the case.  I am more committed to my marriage now then I ever was in the 5 years we were living together.  Even though she is with another man, only communicates sometimes, and goes between fridge cold and luke warm interactions with me.  

    My heart be still and let God, I try to say.  Sadly my heart races and my mind wanders, the tears form puddles in my eyes, and my stomach turns.  Oh he of little faith I am... worrying about things out side of concern.  For god takes care of the sparrow, how much more does he look out for me.  

    I am also so torn on if I should follow up with my wife on if she has picked a night for dinner.  She said she would figure something out but hasn't gotten back to me.  I am resisting because I don't want to control, but also know that right now with a new job, 3 kids, and 4 properties that she is trying to take care of she can't keep things straight and forgets a lot.  Add in trying to participate in a new relationship from what I can see it it would be hard to manage.   Is that my flesh talking so that I take control?

  • Everything seems to scream at us......Our flesh, evil,  and the world's ways.  And we have been molded by these things and it is a trap that is alluring to fall into.  

    But we have God Who is mightier than all combined.  Rest in HIm and seek His strength and wisdom.  And peace.

    It's great you see how you put her or the conversation at a higher level.  It's good to enjoy those good moments.  But let God know you enjoy Him all the more.  And that you know He is your only true source of peace.

  • As for the other woman that pursued you.  Let her know you will not commit adultery (the world prefers to say affair, it doesn't sound as evil).  And even though you must work with her I assume, stay away from her in other regards.  Even if you are not tempted now, evil can use her to wear you down.

  • Some of our spouses love to get attention especially in the trial from the opposite sex.  They love the flattery and feeling they are still found desirable.  

    we who are standing can easily fall into that trap.  Stay clear of possible future temptation.

  • I have heard others say something like if the opportunity presents itself go ahead and ask her if she picked going out to dinner.

    As for me, and this may be me being scared of being with her, i would leave it be and ask again in the next round.  If in doubt, I try to stick to a dare a day, no more, no less.  

    I am not saying my way or the other persons(s) way is better.

  • Yes as of today I haven't gotten a response from my dare and I did it two hours ago. Have to not focus on the circumstances but on God and knowing he has got me no matter what the outcome is.

  • I too had the offer from a female during the beginning.  She said it would make my wife jealous and come back to me.  The temptation was great, but I resisted.  even to this day she still seems to desire me.  She called a week or so ago drunk at 2 AM asking to come over.

    I still suffer from wanting my wife to desire me the way I desire her.  My wife is stubborn and I doubt that even if she wanted to come back she wouldn't due to pride.  But her dad, sister seem to still understand my hurt.  So there may be a chance if she ever goes that route that they can influence her.

    This is the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life.  Feel like a failure, loss of self esteem, loss of joy in life.

    Without God in my journey I don't think I would be here today.  So asking God for strength every day, every hour, however often you need.  In the beginning I'd go cry at the work bathroom and pray for strength.

    I don't do that very often anymore, but I still have bad days.

    Focus on your faith.  

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