Collaborate without boundaries

Working on our marriage

  • Comments 4

I know it's been almost 2 months since I last posted, a lot has happened and since wife moved out. I lost the apartment, moved into my parents house, was not able to keep up with dares because of living in different households, but I made it clear if she needed anything I am here to help, she had so much pride to ask me for help she sold the wedding ring for money..I started to move forward with taking care of myself by doing music starting my music career I released my song to Itunes and every digital platform, as well as promotion all over Facebook..I had friends that helped me with this, she would call me to complain about the same things I did to her over again..I had to put a stop to it and protect both of us..I told her if we are to talk about the damage that happened in the past it is to be with a counselor,  she would deny doing that. Few weeks pass, her mindset is different she says she misses me and she's made stupid mistakes..

 

We are now working on our marriage. But what is now going on is she's been very emotional and crying a lot..It's like she's hurting inside. She stays with her mom right now and she's told me she wants out and is unhappy but 2 months ago when she was with me she said she was unhappy living with me and wants out..It's like she's hurting and running all over the place. My mom thinks my wife might be challenged with bipolar and unaware of it..I think she is searching for happiness in the wrong places and she needs to be happy with herself and life no matter the situation because she is going based upon circumstances to rule over her happiness and that's how the enemy wins.

I'm praying for her but I will need your prayers because I am being challenged with feeling sorry for my wife and that sounds really wrong..I do love her and I fought hard to get to this point in our marriage and I fought hard for God to work this new found confidence and happiness in him..the kind where no divorce, no death, no circumstance could decide my happiness in life..when things are going wrong I'm still happy or even happier because growth is being taken place. I pray the same for her. God will make a way and I'm now standing in the gap for my wife.

  • WOW! Very similar to my story. Just as confusing. I feel for you. I know that you know what is right but how can you trust you own wife? I know the feeling. Admitting she misses you and that she made stupid mistakes is monumental. I think once you get to the point in which you can criticize yourself it opens up an opportunity for huge change. I'm afraid my wife may never get to that point but I also know that with God ANYHING is possible.

    It's such a blessing to hear that you are now working on your marriage. She's unhappy with herself. That's very evident. It's hard to be happy when the Holy Spirit is convicting you. I speak from experience.

    I read a book recently called "Becoming Attached" by Robert Karen. My therapist recommended it to me for insight into MY wife. He had spoken to her a couple times in 2016 and said that book would give me a lot of answers. It really did. My wife is not a securely attached person. Neither am I. The difference is that I know I am not. I can work to change my life. My wife is just running around doing what makes her feel happy not knowing why. She can't see a reason for change right now. It sounds like your wife is beginning to see something in herself that needs changed. That's such wonderful news.

    Definitely praying for you Togba.

  • there is a book called Fierce Marriage it is really good and designed to be gone through husband and wife together

    praying for you too

  • living in different households has nothing to do with the ability to do the dares.  Many people have done the dares separated.  Some do it without the ability to call or text or send messages to their spouse.  Yes, it makes it more difficult but the difficulty also brings opportunity for more growth than if a dare is easy.  Consider going back and at least finishing the round you were on.

  • She's following her emotions going up and down like a roller coaster.  Continue in what the dares teach and stay consistent.  She needs to see your consistent testimony, otherwise she will continue everything based off of emotion vs doing Christ's will.  

    Glad you are finding so much peace in Christ and continued growth.  That's great.  

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