Collaborate without boundaries

Wife is moving out

  • Comments 7

Wife says she's moving out tomorrow which is way sooner than the expected time, she initially said May. Monday we attempted to make love and I messed up and went soft she started crying and wanted me to go away. 

 

Just now as I came home we sat and had a talk first about our day and stuff, she quickly switched to she'll be packing her stuff tomorrow and about all the lies and stuff I did in the marriage and how I tried to break her down but it didn't work she said Monday as she started to come towards our apartment her stomach started to hurt and how she had knotts in her stomach and has not felt this way in a long time and she's having health issues..she also said she felt violated on Monday during intercourse and that's why she started crying and wanted me to go, when she was the one that initiated the intercourse..she said she wants me to really understand what I did in this marriage and I did most of it..she said she would like to be friends if we go with the divorce and wanted to know if we could still be..she said we rushed to get married and if we would'v waited longer we wouldn't be married today..She said again she will be packing up tomorrow 

 

I kept my cool and said okay 

 

She kept saying to me she needs me to understand what I did

  • I think so many of our spouses use that line about "we rushed into marriage and if we hadn't, I wouldn't have married you."  I know my husband said that.  Never mind that we had known each other for 15 years, dated most of those, broke up for about two years, and then ran into each other at Walmart and married 10 months later.  It's not like we didn't know each other. It was a ridiculous thing for him to say, but he really believed it. I think that's one of those lies that Satan feeds people.  Pray that God will protect your marriage from Satan's lies.  Keep standing.

  • How do you deal with it when it first happens? She said she is moving out tomorrow...how do I do the dares and everything??

  • I came home and all her stuff is packed..it's like I'm breaking down..what happened? I had a month now it's a day...

  • Many of our spouses say they stomach pains when they think of us or they are home with them. and as Determined said, there really isn't much your  wife will say that  many of us haven't already heard.  Our spouses may think they are unique in the excuses they use, but that's just what it is, excuses. And these excuses will not justify their actions.  Thus, the knots in her stomach can be from trying to fight Christ's conviction with their excuses.

  • It's not ideal for her to move  out. But there are advantages.  She will have more space from you.  And  this keeps you from getting in the way of  God's work.  Not pointing fingers at you, but we all get in God's way one way or another. And also gives God more time to work in her with you not there. And more of a chance for her to "hear" God working.  

  • It will be harder to do some dares.  But look at this as an advantage.  Because when things are harder, we turn to God  more, seeking His help and wisdom.  And it probably will have more of a good effect on her when you do the  dares the best you can.  

    There is a chance she may not move out. But you can not stop her.  

    Above all, seek your comfort from God in this.  

  • Your spouse is not unique in her excuses. I heard all of that too. We married too young. Blah blah blah. A covenant is a covenant. She made a vow to you and God. If she breaks it that's on her.

    The space could do you some good though. It's not easy. Trust me. I've been separated for almost a year now and it will not be long before the d is finalized. I have not even been able to do the dares persay because of court orders not permitting me to harass my wife. The court order says harass and although I do not consider shearing the Bible with her harassment, she does, and so does the court. I do follow everything the dares taught me. I do not talk bad about my wife and I continue to love her unconditionally. I spend a lot of time in church and reading the Bible and other biblical sources. That's the only way I can deal with this.

    You may have done most of the damage in the marriage and you need to take responsibility for what you did but it takes two people to run/ruin a marriage. If you recognize your mistakes, repented of them, asked for forgiveness and tried to correct them then do not fear. You have found favor in God's eyes.

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