Collaborate without boundaries

Wife says we are just that incompatible

  • Comments 5

Wife says to me how here needs were not met and that is apart of the reason she feels it wont work out..she says her sexual needs w ere not met and sex was not that good..as well as other needs..she says she doesn't want to leave home but it needs to be done and she is taking it hard..

 

Those words hurt..

  • That's good she's taking all this hard.  

    It is crazy how many spouses will throw sex at us, using as a weapon.  How we werent that good and other hurtful things.  Even if they were the ones that limited the intimacy in the marriage.

    Let the hurt go to the cross, and let His peace replace her words.

    The dares are preparing you to meet any needs she felt were not met.

    She's at the point she's really trying to justify her behavior.  and the way she's focusing on doing so is by  bringing you down by throwing all your weaknesses at you and  even making some up or exaggerating.  This is a tough part to handle.  but keep listening, letting her talk, letting her be the one to end the verbal bashing and not walking away, and biting your tongue, and not defending yourself.

    But the more you do that the more she will want to attack with words to get you to react.  But you must not react, only with patience and love.  It may continue for some time.

    Seek God's strength to handle this and His wisdom in all of this.

  • That's good she's taking all this hard.  

    It is crazy how many spouses will throw sex at us, using as a weapon.  How we werent that good and other hurtful things.  Even if they were the ones that limited the intimacy in the marriage.

    Let the hurt go to the cross, and let His peace replace her words.

    The dares are preparing you to meet any needs she felt were not met.

    She's at the point she's really trying to justify her behavior.  and the way she's focusing on doing so is by  bringing you down by throwing all your weaknesses at you and  even making some up or exaggerating.  This is a tough part to handle.  but keep listening, letting her talk, letting her be the one to end the verbal bashing and not walking away, and biting your tongue, and not defending yourself.

    But the more you do that the more she will want to attack with words to get you to react.  But you must not react, only with patience and love.  It may continue for some time.

    Seek God's strength to handle this and His wisdom in all of this.

  • Me and wife ended up talking..I  ended up telling her that I didn't know what your needs were and I should've took initiative to learn and study you. As we talked she got frustrated and sajd I keep going around in circles with the conversation because im not getting the response I was expecting..I apologized and said I just wanted to let you know about meeting your needs and I should have left it at that and I will stop. She said thank you. About 20 mins later in the living room she said randomly honestly she doesn't know what's going to happen but the seperation is well needed right now for us. We talked more in the living room about different things, actually conversated about stories growing up and laughter happened and she stayed in living room to talk.

    I'm struggling with masturbation currently..not pornography but masturbation..I keep thinking of how much I miss my wife and touch..I use my imagination and it's hard..I shouldn't be doing this..I want to stop..advice?

  • So you have seen her down in her harsh moments and up when she talks and laughs.  You see how she's following her emotions and this leads to the roller coaster ride she is on, going up and down.  All the while you stay on the level path to Christ.  

    She realizes she let her guard down a little.  So, she may for a little while come back at you showing you she is not caving.  Just continue the dares and show kindness and patience.  Being still.....

  • Those words do hurt. She is getting everything off her chest and that could be good. The problems are out in the open and can be dealt with. Husband and wife can separate for fasting and prayer. You MUST get a Christian marriage therapist and get these issues resolved. You each have a love language and if you learn about that it will make a huge contribution to both of your happiness.

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