Collaborate without boundaries

About to give up

  • Comments 7

We have been married almost 8 months, my Wife already explained she wanted a divorce because of my behavior and me being verbally abusive. She plans to separate next month, Today me and my wife connected and we were actually having a good time together, not till she asked me if I had watched pornography during our marriage thus far(she asked me this before and I told her no just the night before our wedding 7 1/2 months ago) she went through my phone and saw pornography and if there was any trust building it is all gone now, I don't know what to do, I did lie to her and I repented to God for the pornography, im not addicted..I miss my wife and I am in a hole that I cannot get out of..I fully surrender all to God and my marriage but what I did at the beginning this week came to haunt me..my wwife is so hurt and wants nothing to do with me and she says she feels like i cheated on her and she feels im still hiding stuff..I am tired..heartbroken..cant sleep..been praying and fasting..It's so hard..how can I go on with dares after this? Wife wants me to leave her alone and wants nothing..to her eyes im a lier, verbally abusive, cannot be trusted person and she is closed off her heart is shut towards me..ive been praying drawing closer to God these few days and this is discouraging..

  • It gets worse before it gets better.  

    So you feel like quitting.  The flesh always feels like quitting.  

    Yesterday was Easter, Christ resurrected.  The fruit of Jesus not quitting as He was whipped, spat upon, abused physically and verbally, mocked, nailed, stabbed, thorns shoved in His head, and murdered.  Now He had all the strength of quitting that route and giving us redemption in any other way.  But He did not quit. Aren't you glad?

    So, do the same for  her, do not quit.  Take the pain like Christ and continue to be patient and kind, showing love.  Love is most evident in pain.

  • You need to do a dare a day, no more, no less.  And do the dares as intended, without manipulating them to make them easier.  You need to  continue your testimony the best you can without following your heart.  You need to lead your heart and emotions.  She needs to see you stay consistent and a dare a day is the best way to do so.

    We all have felt like quitting.  And many do.  Will you be one of us that keeps standing?  Be that person and if a d happens, let it all fall upon her.  

  • Thanks sir, I have messed up during the dares by lying and hiding something from my wife which is like starting over...I messed up the progress..now I just don't know what to do but surrender it all to God. It sucks because my actions caused it to be worse..

  • I can't even count the times I've felt like quitting. It's not really my choice though. There are commandments in the New Testament that we have to obey and in order to be pleasing to God we must obey.

    Love. Love is everything. It covers a multitude of sins. It is patient, it is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, it does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

    Focus on your faith. You need to get as close to God as possible. You could be on a journey that could take years. You need to show your wife that you know you made mistakes and you have repented and made a commitment to change. You can't tell her that though. You have to show her and that will take time. Ask her for help. Tell her you are flawed and want to be better for her.

  • God covers our mistakes.  

  • I don't think that a day has gone by that I have not felt like throwing in the towel and saying forget it. I'm on day 10 and still plugging away one day at a time, one dare at a time. For me, I have been divorced for 5 years now. I met a wonderful man whom I am determined to let fall away from me like my first marriage. I made a mistake with my first marriage and I will not allow that to happen again. I gave up too easily before. I have been doing daily devotions, reading the bible, going to church, and praying more that I have ever before. I feel an incredible change to myself over the past 10 days; more patience, more love for god, more appreciation for what I no longer have. We have been apart for a little over 2 months now, little to no communication back from him when I try to reach out. Some of the dares are near impossible because of the current situation, but I just pray that much more. How is he supposed to see the changes that are happening within me if we don't communicate?

  • God will make a way for him to see the changes. Someone will notice and word will get back to him.

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