Collaborate without boundaries

How

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For those that are separated,

How did you complete todays dare? 

I pray for my husband multiple times a day and throughout the night. He's shut me down every time I mention going to church. He asks me to pray for him to have or get more money but never requests for important things. Sometimes he tells me not to pray for him to save my prayer for someone else.  Sometimes he asks am I praying against him because things don't go right. He's all over the place right now. 

I often wonder if he prays and picks up his bible.

  • If you don't, read the dare early after waking up, so you have time through the day to pray on how to complete the dare.  

    You mention he shuts you down every time you ask.....    Are you getting in his space by asking?  Or asking to often?  Sometimes we ask these things because we are trying to pull their car up to ours.  Because we want things to happen on our timing, so our wants are met, and forget all things in God's timing. I am not saying you are doing this.

  • Yeah, I check and see what the dare for the day Is When I get up then pray on it during my morning prayer. Some things I feel like are best left in God's hands, others I move in myself. But, I can truly say this journey has been a very humbling and learning experience. I have learned that I wasn't living with God's love and that I didn't fully grasp why God's love truly is. Now that my eyes are open I can walk through the rest of this journey in peace. Casting all of my dares and worries on him as they arise and leave them there.

    I only bring it up like once or twice a month.

    And thanks for always knowing the right words to say.

  • The first couple weeks (Im on day 23 now) I would read the dare and do it to the best of my ability. There were some dares I honestly had to text with zero response. I left him completely alone other than doing the dares. It's really hard I know. To go from talking and texting to someone all day and then not hearing from them at all for days... He even went camping for a couple days and I thought he had blocked me since my call was going straight to voicemail. I just had to keep praying.

    It's really important to just do a dare a day and not look at the response. It grows your faith and trust in God. On the day I had to buy something for him he asked me to take him to the airport to go see his dad who is dying of cancer. So I was able to buy a book that he had been wanting for the plane. This past week he actually let me make him dinner one night. All you can do is ask. God will make the way. And sometimes your response to him will be all the dare that you need to do.

    Tim will tell you the dares are best done in person, and if not try for a call, and then a text. I honestly prayed about it and there were some days I went to a text first. But you can't be afraid of the rejection. And you have to know he will probably lash out some. Stay consistent in your dares. Some days God's grace fills you and you notice a peace that hasn't been there before. Some days you will have to fight for that peace. It's all about your relationship with God.

    Pray for your husband. Don't ask him to go to church or do anything. Just do everything you need to. God will make a way. And you will learn so much. I'll be praying for you!

  • So I did get a chance to ask him if he wanted to pray with me and he said no. That's okay though because I'm still gonna pray, daily, and pray for him multiple times a day.

    Thanks Notaboutme. Your advice is greatly appreciated.

  • My husband is a non believer. It's funny because we met in church as teenagers and I always longed to have a husband full of faith. Through the road, he lost his faith.

    Today, we are separated, she wants a divorce and I don't push him anymore to get closer to God. Its all very personal. I just do my part and pray for him and let God take control.

  • Tessy, when you say Some things I feel like are best left in God's hands, do you mean some dares you don't attempt to do?  If so, I would highly recommend doing each dare the best you can.  If you are skipping some dares you are taking control and doing things your way.  And often, our way is in part what got us to this trial.  

  • Tim, I do the dares the best I can but I don't push.

    Although we are separated we are getting along pretty well and I don't wanna mess that up.  He told me that I am too controlling so I'm trying to get that out of me. That is why I leave some things in God's hands.

  • So often reading these posts I feel like I am assuming things and I do not want to do that.  But it appears to me you are justifying why you do not do some dares.  You were lead to the dares for a reason.  I would suggest not taking control and do the dares without manipulating them to make them easier or to skip them.

    When we skip the dares, we are really having expectations from our spouse.  And you do not want any negative reactions.  That's the flesh winning vs trusting God in doing each dare the way it is intended to be done.

  • Now, if youre saying you do the dares the best you can.  Such as you attempt the dare but can not truly complete it, then absolutely the dare is considered complete, since you did the best you could to complete the dare.  

    If you don't want to push, such as asking him more than once whatever the dare says to ask, then yes, the dare is complete and you did not get in his space.  

  • Remember, the hardest or scariest dares are the ones you will grow the most in.  

  • You mention that you are getting along more so now.  That is fantastic.  But it is also a dangerous time.  We see things get better and that is when we want to take control vs continuing to keep the control in God's hands. (Ha, a good reminder for me.  I have been having thoughts of taking control come up a lot lately)

  • My husband divorced me.  I think I was on the 2nd or 3rd round of the Love Dare.  I did what I could, then he texted me and told me he didn't want any contact with me at all.  Said he wanted to move on with his life and find a woman who would love him and show him she loves him and told me I needed to move on with my life.  He suggested I needed mental help because I said I still love him.  Soooooooo, for me, it was just best to stop doing the dares completely.  I also felt God telling me to get my hands completely off the whole situation.  As I've shared many times and hope no one gets tired of it, God gave me Exodus 14:14 early on.  "The Lord will fight for you.  You need only be still."  So my learning experience has been in how to be still and let God do battle.  When God brings my husband back to me and restores my marriage, there will be no question whatsoever Who orchestrated it all!  With me totally out of the picture, everyone will have to acknowledge God did it all and He will receive all the glory!  The only advice I can offer is do what you can until you can't anymore, if that makes sense.

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