Collaborate without boundaries

Day 16 Round 2

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Begin praying today for your spouse's heart.  Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage.

Well this is not really a hard dare today but a meaningful one for me. Seems like I am praying all the time lately for my husband, daughter and all of you. I have been putting my husband and daughter on the local Christian radio prayer chain a lot lately. Today, was to soften my husband heart.  This morning there was a very loud knock on my door but I was in PJ's and just got home 25 minutes before and was all tucked into bed. I had no motivation to get up. I didn't care who it was. So when I got up, I was getting a little nervous that  it may have been a cop and that would maybe been the 3rd time. Thinking I should have gotten up so I could just have gotten it over with than I can look into contesting the divorce, if I am able too. I am bound not to make this easy for him since that is what I am think God is leading me to do. But in the mean time, I felt the urge to call him and see if we could talk about these papers and maybe alternatives. When I called he sounded a little irritated, I don't tolerate that. I have drawn a line there (I am good at this especially at work, people giggle how I am firm but not mean more of matter of fact). I asked why he is crabby and speaking to me that way. He changed his tone and said he was washing a truck. I said ok, well how about you call me when your done. He said ok. 

In the meantime, I went out and saw my neighbor. I asked if she saw the sheriff here today. She did not. I told her that I have been praying for obstacles but wondering why the sheriff never came to the door yesterday. She also thinks this is odd. She said oh earlier in the day the local police not county police drove passed our houses a couple times too.  Then another neighbor stopped as she was driving by and asked if I worked tonight and  how I was doing. I asked if she saw any cops around this morning. She said no but the Jehovah witness' came through this morning. I said around 10. She thought that was the time. Oh I am paranoid.  I know God is working but I don't know how and I am ok with that. It also didn't help to be overly tired this morning and be startled out of a dead sleep.  Checked my phone when I got back into the house. No call but a text from my husband asking " what did you want?"  I told him I wanted to talk about the papers which I have not gotten yet.  NO response back (God must not wanted us to talk about it.... ok be still).

So here are the prayers I pray for my husband. No particular order.

safety and no harm; see/hear God's will for his life; his salvation;  heart to soften towards our marriage, me and our family; to come home; accept and start counseling;  start going to church; stop porn, girly pic and cheating (not sure about porn and girlie pics but I think they were involved at the start of the cheating) so I am praying that these end; show him his husband and father responsibilities that God wants him to have (hope this one makes sense); replace his bitterness with forgiveness and love for his family; obstacles for divorce; to have God intervene for our marriage; and this one I have just been praying the last couple days is to have God break up this relationship he has with this OW.   These are the things I pray daily for my husband.  His relationship with God and his salvation is the most important above all the rest though weather our marriage works out or not.

So I will continue my prayers for him.  I just want to throw this pass the men here. Women can answer too. But I would especially like the opinions of the guys, so my husband and I grew up in the same area. I went to private Christian school and he went to the public school we have a lot of mutual high school friends.  A guy that we grew up with him and his brother are both preachers. My husband about a month or two before he left, he mentioned how all these people that we grew up with that were preachers now have such good lives and travel all over the world. I said yes they do, because God provides for them. He said I think I should have become a preacher (thinking of possessions and travel). I said oh, so do you want to start going to church? (because I wouldn't have minded but did not want to go by myself .... which I am doing NOW ). He said NO. But anyway, one of the guys just wrote a book that looks like a light read with God mentioned in it. Was thinking about getting it for him for maybe a future dare someday. What do you think?

Here is my friend's fb posting;

Yes I wrote a book once about ‪#‎jesus‬ and ‪#‎motorcycles‬. Yes people are still buying it each month. Yes you can also get a ‪#‎kindle‬ or paperback version for yourself on Amazaon.…/…/B00AOGR3JQ ‪#‎answerstoquestionspeopleaskme‬


Also my daughter went and picked grapes today for a school project. It was a great experience for her and she gets paid which she was excited about. I was grateful for the opportunity she had to learn a lot of different things today. Plus she ended up being the only high school student that showed up this week and a few high school teachers who also came to help their coworker out. One of the teacher's owns the huge field of grapes and is a part owner a winery.  Feeling very blessed for this day. On the way home I said I thought we should try to go to a Saturday church service and try a new church out. She said no, she likes to go to Grandma's church. I said I will be tired tomorrow. But she says she like that church best, so I guess tired and a big cup of coffee tomorrow morning. Then she asked tonight if she could go to a friend's house, I said only if I can pick her up in the morning for church. I did say her friend could go to church with us if she wanted.  Thought there would be an argument but there wasn't. She did ask what time, I would pick her up if she went. .... PROGRESS... Praise God and thank you to whoever has been praying for this girl.

  • Tim- your right I do talk about God more freely now especially when people ask me what is going on and if I got papers yet. I tell them the obstacles and all I can say the only reason I know of that I don't have them yet is because of God since I have been praying for obstacles for this situation.

  • Well got served papers tonight.

  • Tami I'm sorry about the papers. I'm praying for you in all of this. I'm not sure about the book. If it was written by old classmates he might enjoy it.  I'm really happy thing with your daughter are progressing so well.  Don't give up and continue on. You are strong and God is with you.

  • Tami my dear sister, so sorry about the papers but remember God is in control!!  Whenever something bad happens or painful I always remember my favorite scripture Romans 8:28, "all things work together for the good of those who love The Lord and are called according to his purpose".  Stay strong and prayerful.  I am praying for you and your family.

  • Tami - stay strong and lay that burden at the Cross for Christ to help bear for you.  I'm sorry this happened to you today, it sounded like things have been a bit better with your daughter recently too (Praise God!).  Don't let these schemes of the Enemy get you down, he is exceptionally jealous of us and will try and twist our faith - don't let him.  Will be keeping you and your family close in my prayers.

  • Google, some helpful scriptures for how to pray for ur husband.

  • Keep doing the dare. Remind god of his promises.  The devil is out to steal, kill,and destroy families. Pray that he doesn't get urs. For god said he will not withhold anything from those who walk up righteous with him.  

    Ask God for strength. For he never will forsake u.

  • I still love you  **** with my whole heart unconditionally and forgive you for what your doing to us and our marriage. I will keep praying for you and our marriage daily love you mwah.  This was my last text to him. And I have been praying ever since. I am truly ok and I did not break down. Those paper just fueled the prayer warrior in me.    Thanks for all your kind words and keep praying more that he will know Christ than for  my marriage, the reconciliation would be a bonus. His soul is more important.

  • Tami, after I read ur post, my heart was so overwhelmed for ur situation.  I know he'll be back and regretting his actions.  Meanwhile, u stand strong & don't let him see u fret. U wear a smile & live ur life. Remember Jesus did not die on the cross to have us suffer. He came so that u & I and anyone else who believes have life & have it abundantly -John 10.10. Ur husband is already being taken care of. Prep ur house for his return.  Stay strong in Christ Jesus.

  • I guess the biggest question is are Gifts a primary love language of his?  If they are then I think it would be a cool gift for him.  If gifts are not a primary love language of his then I believe he would think of it as a tool for manipulation.

    Reading that you got served the papers tonight I am reminded of the story of Joseph and what he went through in his life.  In the end, when he was speaking with his brothers he said "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive." (Gen 50:20)  Keep trusting in the Lord throughout your trials and be patient to listen to His voice.  You have grown so much since you started and I am excited to see that growth in you.

  • Is the book centered on God, or how to live a good life in Christ?  or just splashes of God talk now and then.  If he thinks its' you smacking him in the face with, This is what you need, God in your life, then he probably isn't ready for it.  But then again, he may run across it years from now, timing in his life may be right, and finally pick it up and read it.  But as a whole, I would say not to get it for him if the message will aggravate him.

    If you think the book would be enjoyable for him, with just a bit of spiritual talk, then I think it would be fine.

    I was just going to say, till I read your comment, it's great you haven't been served yet, but know where your comfort is, not in not getting the papers, but in Christ alone.  And that you already know.  

    But when I read your comment, the thought hit, maybe God did delay getting the papers to you.  Not for your sake, but for the dtr's sake.  Maybe God knew your dtr would need a few more days with you doing the dares on her to get in a better attitude and place with Christ.  So this way, when the papers came, she would be able to take it more comfortably.  Your dtr has taken huge strides, because you have opened the door not just to your husband, but also to her.  And she is using her free will to look to God, vs what the average teenager is.  Praise God for that.

  • The battle you are leaving to Christ isn't over. It is important not to let your emotions lead you.  Lead your heart, showing love, kindness, patience.  Your husband needs to see your testimony stay consistent, especially now.  if you begin to falter, he will say, this was all fake, and it will justify his decision to have papers served.

    May Christ's peace be with you and dtr.

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