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  • Still???? Dreaming - Total Wreck

    • 7 Comments
    Well it's official. As of this morning we are divorced. I'm a wreck, full of all mixed emotions, anger, hurt, pain. I can't understand why God would let this happen. Then she has free will. Something was going on with her. She was visibly...
  • Still Dreaming - Fighting Hard?

    • 4 Comments
    This quote is about a girl that was trying to hold onto a relationship with a guy that was into her, but he also wanted to explore an opportunity with another girl. Just dating, no marriage. So she's angry and upset trying o say things about him....
  • Still Dreaming - Fading Fast

    • 6 Comments
    Sorry I have been off of here for a while. August 22nd was our mediation. We were in separate rooms so I only had a glimpse of her as she walked by. She fired her attorney, which is upsetting because her attorney was the one that setup the expensive mediation...
  • Still Dreaming.... Silently?!?!?

    • 2 Comments
    During Lunch I heard something on the radio that inspired me to try and find the scripture that supported it. Basically being silent is the same as making a statement. If you don't stand up against something then by being silent it's the same...
  • Still Dreaming and a Spiritual Reminder

    • 5 Comments
    Been reading some new posts from everyone. Hebrews 5:12-14 (GNT) 12 There has been enough time for you to be teachers - yet you still need someone to teach you the first lessons of God's message. Instead of eating solid food, you still have to drink...
  • Still Dreaming Financial Woes

    • 5 Comments
    I am going to start off saying how appropriate the verse of the day is for me. Psalm 139:23-24 (GNT) 23 Examine me, O God, and know my mind; test me, and discover my thoughts. 24 Find out if there is any evil in me and guide me in the everlasting way...
  • Still Dreaming and Reflecting Christ

    • 6 Comments
    I have had more dreams with my wife in them. Some verses that I have been given. Titus 2:7-8 (NIV) 7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned...
  • Goliath Must Fall

    • 5 Comments
    I saw this on a post from Facebook and it was a great reminder so I thought I'd share. From "Goliath Must Fall" FORWARD TO VICTORY At the end of the story of David and Goliath, we read, “So David triumphed over the Philistine with...
  • Still Dreaming - Birthday and Reminders

    • 11 Comments
    So today is my birthday. It marks one year since I last kissed my wife. I posted on my journal 4/3/17 that I don't plan on celebrating my birthday. http://lovedarestories.com/journals/b/snazs_journal/archive/2017/04/03/birthdays-no-more.aspx I still...
  • Still Dreaming - Flashbacks to before she left

    • 2 Comments
    I am at the Conference this year. Last year while I was at the conference she told me she made the decision to leave me. Lots of tears an emotions back then. I remember, but mostly I'm okay. I'm fighting another illness. Sinus. So many things...
  • Still Dreaming - The Heart Blooms

    • 5 Comments
    1 John 3:16 16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. So it looks like I'll be Married a little while longer. Mediation is scheduled for the end of...
  • Still Dreaming for Almost a year....

    • 3 Comments
    Verse of the Day. 2 Corinthians 4:17 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. My roomate said something similar this weekend about how our rewards in heaven will be greater than theirs...
  • May 2017 Update

    • 3 Comments
    It's been a while since I posted, a little over month ago. Feels like longer. I got the flu which turned into bronchitis and I was down for 2.5 weeks, and came back to work too early. So my free time was spent sleeping. I've hired an attorney...
  • Birthdays no more

    • 7 Comments
    The other day it was a coworkers birthday and I mentioned I wasn't celebrating my birthday anymore. She said the only way you can stop having birthdays is to die. I said I guess I'll have to die then. This ended up being reported by her and I...
  • The D and conflicted

    • 7 Comments
    So having received the papers I have been stuck trying to figure out how to respond. She hired an attorney, is requesting 100% sole ownership of our marriage home, that she abandoned. I did the analysis and there is equity in the home, so I cannot just...
  • Took it Better than I Thought

    • 6 Comments
    I knew that she was consulting an attorney. Her words was that only to do the paperwork. Well I got served the Divorce paper Saturday morning. She promised to let me know before I got served that it would happen. She didn't. She promised to let me...
  • Still Dreaming about a Flood

    • 2 Comments
    So I had a dream last night. It was raining very hard and I was going to a hotel but the waters were rising and making it difficult to get there. when I got there my room was on the third floor and it was safe and there were friends and people that cared...
  • Is it Time to Give Up?

    • 7 Comments
    My Wedding anniversary is next week. I want to express my love, but we are not a couple anymore. She has been dating and making a relationship with the other guy for months now. We are only married by law and that the fact that I sticking with my covenant...
  • Fighting a battle within myself.

    • 3 Comments
    I know I haven't posted in a while. Still fighting being sick and the stress has taken my body. I have to limit my food or I get acid reflux, nausea, migraines and other issues. I went to Divorce Care on Sunday. Then came back and went to sleep the...
  • Trapped in Limbo

    • 8 Comments
    I am in Limbo right now, not caring about my relationship, not caring about pretty much anything. I wake up and go to work and go to bed. I am finding myself making excuses not to go to church or Celebrate Recovery, falling behind at work, etc. I know...
  • Traffic Court Arrainment

    • 4 Comments
    Well today I have to got o traffic court for that last car accident. My wife is supposed to drop off her house key to me today at my work. I had to text her the other day to ask for the key, and she hasn't been paying the Jewelry credit card so I...
  • Blindsided by Facebook

    • 2 Comments
    I thought I've removed any chance of seeing what was going on in my wife's life. But I logged on and there was a post by my brother in law. He was talking about spending time with his sisters. And right there in the photo was my wife, her sister...
  • Developing a Vibrant Faith

    • 2 Comments
    My wife had went to see her father a week or so ago. She got a new tattoo and I asked about it and she sent me a photo. Yesterday she texted saying She no longer wanted to share our Netflix account. Since the one we shared, emails were addressed to her...
  • Weird Place.

    • 3 Comments
    I am I a weird place now. I have told God that I give it all to him. God has had me do things and then tell me to stop them. I think he wants me to be obedient and listen. I feel neither sad nor worried, nor hopeful or expectant. I just am. I've given...
  • So Conflicted.

    • 9 Comments
    I'm so conflicted. I feel like a weak man letting her walk all over me. It doesn't make me attractive to her. Once a woman no longer finds a man attractive she can move on and not care about him. But there are signs she still cares, or is she...
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