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Still Dreaming - No Longer Considered Family

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Day 31 Round 2

In Round 1 was the anniversary of us meeting on line.

Still Dreaming for Marriage

Today's Dare is about leaving parents behind.
My mom passed away over 3 years ago, and I'm not super close to my father.
My wife walked away from her mom when she came to live with me, I'm still haunted by the look on her face when I picked up E.

All of our parents and their spouses do want us to get back together. 

So today I'm emotionally conflicted.  I am hurting and crying and so upset at myself for doing so.

So yesterday I looked on Facebook and saw a post from my Sister in Law that their uncle passed away.  He was 4 years older than my wife, 35.  He apparently overdosed on pain killers.

I reached to my wife to make sure she was okay.  She was not, but her sister and her husband were coming over to see her.

I was at CR, she actually called and spoke with me on the phone.  I tried to be supportive and ended with if she needed me to call me.

I missed the opportunity to tell her I love her again.

So why the conflict, why the pain?

I woke up early and walked the dog, but went back to bed afterwards.
Woke up a couple of hours later and my brother in law was not home.
Nothing abnormal about that.  Looked at my phone, no calls, but got a Facebook friend to add, so added my fathers wife.  I guess we were never friends on Facebook.  There was a post about the uncle by the sister in law and spending time with family, so I'm feeling good they are together.

The next post is from my brother in law, they are all eating at a local restaurant having brunch. So this is where it hurts.

They came by my condo and picked him up and took him out to brunch.
So I was excluded, no offer to go.  So I'm not family anymore.

So I'm in all this pain because I'm not considered part of the family.
Driving to work these songs came on the radio.
Casting Crowns - Just Be Held

Ryan Stevenson | Eye of the Storm

I think these were what I needed to hear in that moment.

I realize that it's selfish to be in pain when they are hurting over their uncle.  It's unfair to be selfish like this, but I cannot stop the tears.

It brings up emotions and memories of when my mom passed and we, wife and I,  went out to dinner with my brother and his wife.  I'm just so conflicted.
I don't want to be in pain, I just want to feel for them.

Not being included, not being able to comfort my wife.  She not wanting me too.  It hurts so bad.  But it's so selfish to care about this when they just lost their uncle.

I just pray for strength.

  • Just praying for you today.  I wish words could make things not hurt, but sometimes they just can't.  Your heart is in the right place.  Let go of the hurt and keep yourself open to ways to be supportive.  It is all you can do.  Our pain sure helps us see how to help others in theirs.  I guess that is one positive you can take from it.  So sorry for the loss of such a young life.

  • Snaz, sorry for your loss.  I know it hurts when you are no longer considered family.  I called my sister-in-law in Charlotte, where there have been riots for the last few days just to see if they were ok.  No call back.  I called twice.  I guess it is just sometimes family does not know what to do in these situations.  Prayers to you.

  • Love believes the best.  Seems like the LD covers all situations.  LOL.  And believe that they just don't know how to act around you.  Maybe they feel conviction too.  Seeing you stand when they know they wouldn't.  Who knows.  Do not let it get you down or take the joy Christ offers you.  

    During big events, I think sometimes the worse comes out of them for some odd reason.  Just let it go and know it is a reflection on them, not you.  

  • Your looking at this wrong. Again we as humans always think the worse and we do not let love believe the best. I am sure you were not intentionally invited because of the troubles. I am sure her family has not invited you to allow any uncomfortableness to be out of the mourning process.

    Pray on it, and especially with the way you are feeling, God is not the author of confusion. So remember the enemy will do whatever it takes to make you feel forsaken by Christ.

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