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Still Dreaming - Lust and Questions

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Day 24 Round 2

I have been plagued by the enemy.

Thoughts of giving up on the marriage and thinking about dating again.

Things I did in the past before marriage, strip clubs, pornagraphy, have started to creep into my thoughts.

So far the I can push those thoughts away and seek God, as I know this is the enemy.

In round one I posted how hard it is for others to look at us like we have two heads when we state we are standing for our marriages.  Happened again today.  But once I told him I was a Christian and he asked if she was and I said yes, and then he figured out my wife stopped going to church.

I really hope and pray she doesn't remain away from her faith.  I want her to walk in her faith again.  Not for me, or the marriage.  But for her.  It pains me to think her turning her back on her faith or at least avoiding it, is because of the situation.  

I'd rather her walk with God without me, than with me and walk without God.

Right now she is not walking with God and without me.

I got so far off of what I wanted to write.

Verse of the Day

Romans 15:13G (GNT)

13 May God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace by means of your faith in him, so that your hope will continue to grow by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Today was difficult, fighting that battle.  The Verse, going to church, and worshipping was what I needed today.

Reading back on Round 1, the devotional was about Obedience, Humility, and Service.

I'm Adding to that Worship.  Praise God in good times and bad, you can speak it, shout it, sing it, and so many other ways, but Praise God daily.

  • As you allow Christ to conquer those desires that pop up, your endurance in abstaining from these things will grow.

    I think sometimes when we get frustrated our spouses are not coming around like we hope, we subconsciously think, what would it hurt, to do the things we have given up.  But it is evil, the flesh, the world's ways that hit us and potentially pull us from God if we give in to these fleshy desires.

    Maybe read a bible for a bit, then keep it in your hands.  It's tough to want to look at things we shouldn't with a bible right there in front of us, in our hand.

  • Just know this. If she has had God in her life, He will never let her go. He will continue to work in her life to get her to submit to His will. Granted she has the right to use her free will to not come to Him, however, God chose you for this journey for a reason. God is preparing you. And yes the thoughts of being single again is part of this. If the toughest moments God wants you to lead your heart and not follow it. So seek out for God to capture your thoughts and replace them with His thOughts.

    Seek out His plan for you and the growth in His glory to be the testimony that your wife needs to support gods perfect work.

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