Collaborate without boundaries

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is--Day 3

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So I wasn't able to post this on the actual day since my husband was home.  I thought it would be awkward to explain my posting and what I was doing with the Love Dare book.  I don't want him to feel any particular way about what I'm doing; I'm just trying to be more mindful of his needs and of our relationship overall.  So now I'm catching up the posts of what has happened in the last few days.

Today was hard only because I felt like my husband would be more upset that I bought something unnecessarily than anything else.  I managed to get a babysitting job, though, so I had $20 to spend that wasn't part of the normal budget.  Most of what I bought for him was food related.  My husband LOVES food.  He calls himself a founding member of the Fat Kids Coalition, which has nothing to do with weight/size and everything to do with a love of all types of foods.  He's fairly limited on some of the things he can eat because he's allergic to corn and corn-based products.  That pretty much eliminates all processed foods from our diet since somewhere in the ingredients list is typically a product made from corn.  I get lucky occasionally in the world food aisle at our local store where they sell European products because those are usually not corn-based.  So he got a jar of Biscotti cookie spread for his truck--a treat he probably hasn't enjoyed for 6 months or more.

Of course, just like with the act of kindness, my husband promptly reciprocated by buying me a new set of baking pans just because he felt they were a good price and he thought I would like shiny pans instead of the older discolored ones I had all ready.  I know he feels like being able to provide for me like this is part of being a good husband, and I appreciate him for it.  He's always trying to find ways of taking care of me, and I think the bulk of the stress he's been feeling lately has been because he doesn't feel he's doing enough.

One day, I'll figure out how to help him relax a bit on this front and not get so stressed out about the money aspect of things. There are, after all, much more important things in life and marriage, and the stress he puts on himself to do more and earn more puts so much strain on our relationship.  When he feels he's not doing enough, he lashes out more.  It's like he feels inadequate and pushes me away (this is part of his baggage).  It's all a work in progress as is everything else.

 

 

  • many times us guys do not know how to express our feelings, so we lash out instead.  

    Thank God for your husband's kindness.  

    As you do the dares as they are intended to be done, you will begin to not show stress and patience and kindness will take over.  and this testimony will have an effect on your husband.  And he will see Christ's light in you and he will want what you have.

  • I shouldn't have said your stress.  I should have said you showing kindness and patience will lead him to be more at peace and less stress.  

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