Collaborate without boundaries

Nothing to Do--Days 7 and 8

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This post brings us current on my backlog of journal entries, and I find that for these 2 days there was nothing for me to do.

Make a list of the positives of my husband?  No problem.  There's a laundry list of good qualities that he possesses.  Make a list of the negatives of my husband?  There's only one real negative, but that negative is a core part of who he is.  Without it, he wouldn't be him, and it only really gets to me when I'm emotionally needy.  At that point, it becomes difficult, but I've noticed that this rough edge is something that God is smoothing out through love.  My husband is very aware of his negative trait.  He doesn't apologize for it because it's who he is, but he's aware of it.  And he's aware that occasionally, I'm going to need things that he can't easily give me....I'm going to have needs that he can't easily meet.  The thing is--he tries.  To the best of his ability, without changing the core of who he is--he really, really tries.  And that's all I could ever ask for.

I thank him constantly for all the things that he is and the things that he does.  I let other people know--whether he's around or not for the conversation--how much I appreciate all his positive attributes.  I think the fact that this is not the first marriage for either of us helps a bit as well.  We married the wrong people to start with, and those relationships were so bad that we are more aware of how awesome this one is.  I know my husband appreciates my positives as well because he also tells others--and sometimes he tells me.  

So I didn't physically make a list, and I didn't physically burn the negative list.  I just don't think that act is actually necessary, but if I had then burning the negative list would not have been hard.  Focusing on all the ways my husband gets it right, on all the ways he tries, on all the successes he has boosts my mood and feeds our relationship.  Making sure I don't speak negatively to others about my husband reinforces that positivity I feel toward him and that focus.  It gets back to him and boosts his mood because he feels appreciated and loved.  

I just saw an article that says that constant complaining and focusing on the negatives alters your brain to be more prone to depression.  That's the very last thing I want or need in my life, so I'll just keep on praising my husband for his good qualities....and keep thanking God for his negative quality too because it's how God made him.


  • Do the dares as they are intended to be done.  Don't manipulate them to make them easier or because you don't think you need to do them.  That's taking control instead of doing the dares and leaving the control on God's hands.

    There are big benefits in doing the dares just as they are to be done.

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