Collaborate without boundaries

The Kindness Conundrum

  • Comments 4

So here I am on Day 2.  The nothing negative thing has been fairly easy.  I know it will get harder in the future as I try to get off depression medication and life starts getting to me again, but for now I'm trying to be mindful of it.  My husband has sounded more relaxed when we talk, even though there are still times when our conversations are rushed.  For now, he's having an easier time talking to everyone BUT me...and I'm trying to be okay with that.

So I came to Day 2--a random act of kindness, and I'm kind of stuck.  I've racked my brain trying to think of something I could do for him that would be kind, but I can't come up with anything I don't already do.  I looked through other posts to try to get ideas, but it was all stuff that just falls to my care normally.  It wouldn't be meaningful.  

I think I've come up with a plan though.  My husband is flying home tomorrow.  His truck has been in the shop, so his company asked him to recover another truck out of state.  We picked that one up, but it was in rough condition as well.  So the company had him bring it back to their main office and is now flying him home in the hopes that his regular rig will be repaired by Friday.  I sure hope so because our finances can't handle too many more weeks of little to no pay.

So tomorrow I pick him up at the airport.  Today, I've tried to get the chores done to the best of my ability.  I'm hoping to have clean sheets on the bed tomorrow for when he comes home.  He also mentioned something he needs to pick up from the store, so I'm going to do my best to be up early enough to go grab that from the store before I pick him up at the airport.  I'm also planning to cook a meal I know he really likes for dinner that night.

Hopefully, I'm able to do some of this for him.  The only small thing I could do today was letting him get off the phone quickly so he could shower and go to bed to be at the airport early in the morning.  Also, he's been struggling with the hiccups all day, so talking was difficult.  I felt that letting him go quickly would give him time to try to get those under control and feel better.

  • For now, have no expectations from your husband, such as him having an easier time talking to you like everyone else.  In his mind he has to hold back from you.  It's his way of justifying himself and his actions.

    Be careful doing to much for the dare.

    I'm sure you have already looked into it, but will continuing the depression meds be potentially harmful to the baby?  

  • Tim,  

    I am at the safest time of my pregnancy to be on the depression medication that I am on.  The risk increases in a few weeks, but even then the risks of severe depression untreated are almost the same as the risks of using this medication.  My goal has always been to use the medication during this "sweet spot" and then come off them before the risk increases, and that's still the plan.

  • I figured you knew what was best with the meds.   Please don't take me mentioning it the wrong way.  

  • Tim,

    No worries.  I didn't take it in the wrong way.  I know my husband had the same concerns, but he didn't want to make this journey harder by expressing them.  Being able to show him the research and let him know that I took his concerns to heart and was working to address them helped him be more comfortable.

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