ShawnCubitt's journal

Dinner....yeah right!

Ammah Pechus — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 04:09:00 GMT

Well, I tried to do the dinner thing and got this response..."Why would I want to be alone with you and eat dinner?"

This is going to be a long haul!

What's wrong with me!

Ammah Pechus — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:25:46 GMT

OK, I asked my mate what was the top three things that irritate her about me and this is what she said:

I hate it when we have a good day, you go too far and I stop you, and then you are mad at me for a couple of days.

Your emotional ups and downs

your incessant disecting of everything

With those being said, I think God can fix those rather quickly since they are all on the list I feel that needs to be fixed before reconciliation can be made.

I don't want her back!

Ammah Pechus — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 16:03:55 GMT

What a mind job! The more I focus on her the less I focus on God. If I had to pick between the two....See ya Meg!

I have placed her soo high on my worship pole that to not worship her is extremely difficult. How do I worship her? By doing the things she does.. Last night at a wedding she went out for a smoke and I asked if I could have a drag..Why? I hate smoking! I then came home and watched a movie with my 15 year old son and had a glass of wine..Why? Because she had a glass. Can you imagine what a disciple I would be if I gave that much attention to Jesus? I am going to try.

I will keep doing these dares, but for the sole intention of getting my life right with God. I do not want the women she is now! My wife has died.

3rd Day

Ammah Pechus — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:46:40 GMT

Well, again the dare was not difficult, it is all the other stuff! The God Stuff!

"Stop trying to spy on her, Stop wondering what she did last night, Stop worring about what she is thinking....STOP! I HAVE THIS UNDER CONTROL! TRUST ME!!!!"

I guess I have always thought God needed my help! What a nut. I have taught hundreds of hours of bible studies on trusting God, and I am the one having the trouble doing it!.

Too many thoughts, too many feelings. Wil be going to a wedding tonight!! They will be playing our song "I will be here" by Stephen Curtis Chapman, The woman getting married has a son from another man, and the man she is marring is a worship leader. Very similar to our beginning.... There will be dancing, which I love to do, but I have not been able to touch my wife since Jan 3rd.

Having a bad day!

Day 2 and already messed up!

Ammah Pechus — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 18:28:32 GMT

WOW! This is going to be harder than I thought! Not the dares, but the trusting God. I have a very curious and analytical mind, which has gotten me in a lot of trouble in the past... jumping to "logical" conclusions. Well, being my self, I was snooping in my wife's closet to find whatever, and I think she found out. I covered it up ..kinda.. but it was more for me to understand that any attempt to try and "spy" on my wife will only keep me away from totally trusting God with this situation.

I hope I have learned my lesson!

Dummy!