Collaborate without boundaries

And so it begins

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I have been trying my own version of the love dare. Practicing forgiveness and trying to actively live the fruits of the spirit.

It began out of panic and desperation, facing rejection from my husband and his request for a divorce and then discovering this was prompted because he was also having an affair.

I couldn't do anything about him, or control his responses and actions.  As I examined myself I discovered this had been one of my major sins against my husband and my marriage.  As I examined myself further I found more and more ways I had rejected, undermined and disrespected him.  These were difficult to face alone while I felt like I was in the fight of my life for myself and my marriage.

So I began haphazardly but with the intention of finding myself and restoring my marriage. I have read a lot of books and spent time back in the bible.  Each day is a step of restoration for myself and I feeling like I can give of myself for my husband.  He has his own demons to face which makes it difficult.  SO I have now embarked upon The Love Dare as a gift to both of us.  It took 3 days to get through Day 1 of the dare.  But in that tine I even got an apology from my husband.  He blows up A LOT.  So he blew up because there was too much green stuff (oregano and mint) in his dinner and stormed off.  I ended up just sitting there, I said as way of an apology I didn't mean to make something he disliked and that was it.  15 minutes later he returned to the table and apologize for blowing up.  I can't remember the last time he apologized for anything.  I didn't say anything at that moment except thank you.  I waited till the next day and called him to tell him how much appreciated the apology.  He didn't pick up so I left the vm instead of chickening out.  He texted he got it, but he got really angry at me yesterday and I rose to the bait then I realized that I was making it worse.  I apologized and left him alone.  Then for the rest of yesterday and today he seems like he has been angry but not focusing it on me.

For me this is a win for both of us.  I am participating in the dare by myself, my hope in the future is for him to be participating with me.

  • Welcome.   This will be a journey, between you and Christ, not you and your husband.  He will be used as a tool to mold you.  do a dare a day, no more, no less.  If you can not complete a dare in a day, then move on to the next days dare.  do not manipulate the dares to make them easier.  do not read ahead in the dares, other than the appendix, especially about leading the heart.  

    Do not share with him the LD.  Not that you want to keep secrets, but he will look at it as a step by step guide into winning him back or influencing him.  

    Things often get worse before getting better, but this has purpose.

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