Yesterdays dare was very hard to complete - the day started with my Husband reviewing the separation agreement prepared by my attorney. I spent the day trying to figure out how I could complete my dare (one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness). I had not spoken to him at all during the day except for an email exchange to which he did not respond to. On my way home he called to say that he had to work late and again would not be home until after 11pm. He said that he needed to work an event at his job but I know that it was a lie. I checked and there was no event happening. I fought with myself to call him and tell him that I knew he was lying but I asked God for guidance and patience and just let it go.
I knew it would be a long night waiting for him and very little chance I could comeplete my dare. The best I could do was send him a note saying "Hey, I know you have to work very early in the morning and have had a long day so can I take out some clothes for you to wear and iron it so that you can get some extra rest". Note that I never ever iron his clothes. Of course he never even responded. The response I got from him said that he will be making his final decision soon. My heart dropped reading his note.
I responded telling him that I love him unconditionally and will respect whatever decision that he makes. I said that if he chooses this other women all I could do was respect that and give him my blessings. I told him that if he chooses me/his family that I would make certain to show him how much I have changed and that I could be the wife that I was not when he needed me to be. I told him that I want to make him proud. I told him that I have not felt so strongly for him since I was that teenager 16 years ago. I told him that I love him. Not to my surprise he never responded.
He woke up at 4:30am to get ready for work and began ironing his clothes - I took this opportunity again to say that I would do it for him so he could shower and not be late for work. He responded with "it's OK I can do it myself". I phoned him at 8:15am while on my way to work and asked him if he would like to go out to dinner and he said that he was making plans with the "guys" to go out this evening. Even though I don't believe him I said OK and asked that he let me know thru out the day if things change.
Todays dare - buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you". So since he loves the Giants and needs a new Ipad cover I found a leather Ipad cover with the Giants logo on it. I know that he will absolutely love it. My dare is done!
Now I sit dreadfully waiting for him to make his decision. I am so scared and just continue to pray, pray and pray.
I just need to ask. Why is there the "I dont believe him"?
Leave it go and give it to Christ. Your flesh will always think the worst and to be honest that is not trusting Christ at all.
You already know you cannot control it, so when you have those feelings, turn to Christ and ask Him to take those thoughts away so you can just dwell in Christs unconditional love!
Sean, I said that "I don't believe him" because in my heart I just knew that he was going to be with his mistress. I did let it go... I saw him for a short while before he left for the evening and did not even mention my feeling that he was lying. I simply asked God for patience and the ability to bit my tongue! I wished him a fun and safe night before he left. Yes, this is something that I now know that I can not control. I made a vow to give it to God and trust that he will guide me and get me thru this.