Collaborate without boundaries

Day 38-39

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Day 38- fulfilling her dreams , My wife really dislikes her boss and some of the people she works with. She has been at her job for 12+ years. I listen and talk to her 4-5 nights a week when she gets home on how her day went and just let her vent .I used to offer suggestions on how to change people’s attitudes at her work place but she would get defensive and say she likes her job just not some of the people there. I have looked online for another job for her and told her about it but she never applies for them. She has become an angry person in the last few years but doesn’t seem to want to change. I also wished she would leave as 2 of the guys she had an affair with worked there. She tells me they left several months ago …  I wished I could find her the perfect job but now I mostly let her vent and listen and try to console her. As for material things she has more things than any two women I know and with all of our debt I don’t see getting her anything expensive as we can’t afford it and she has a birthday coming in 3 more weeks. I will get her something but  I don’t know what yet. Need my daughters help.

Day 39- Letter of commitment – I wrote her a letter and told her I love her and that if I had to do it all over again I would still choose her to spend my life with. I am trying to be everything she is looking for. I really didn’t get much of a response from her. I wasn’t expecting much and that’s what I received. I have noticed how much better I feel when I don’t worry about getting a reaction from her and just concentrate on my behavior and my relationship with God. My sister reminds me daily of this and that   “ kind and gentle are his ways .“   I have become a calmer and kinder person and for that I am very grateful.

  • We sure like to solve o ur spouses problems when they vent don't we?  but it seems they never want to hear a solution, so the best gift of showing kindness is typically just to listen with an empathetic ear, just as you do.

    It is amazing when we stop worrying about us or their reactions, we actually feel more comfort.  The world teaches  the opposite of serve others first and you will be first.  

  • YOu are approaching the end of this round.  Strongly consider doing a second round.  Most everyone says the second round is much more or different than the first round.

  • He who is first will be last and he who is last will be first. (Matthew 19:30)

    No one can escape the fact that God sees their heart. The world will try to destroy you and it may succeed but if your heart is truly turned to God you cannot lose.

    Once you let go of all anger and envy and jealousy and pride, etc. you will feel much better. It's weird but it's true. Every day I find something else I am holding on to. This is a constant journey of self discovery. Your willingness to forgive her infidelity is an amazing testimony. You can be everything she is looking for but she's not looking at you right now. Give her time and space and she will see that someday.

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