Yesterday was Day 6 - Today's dare: "Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life."  I still need to figure out exactly what that means. In general, I can see how irritable I have been over the last year or so.  I guess thinking negatively all the time really took a toll on me and I took it out on him and others.  According to some of my friends, I wasn't as fun as I used to be and always seemed down or unhappy.  They told me this over Thanksgiving when I attended the camping trip alone, without T.  They said I seemed much happier and more "myself".  I told them it was because T wasn't there for me to be pissed off at for ignoring me.  It really made me think about how I have been acting and how my moods are preceived. Some things that I need to add margin to is that I need to start saying no more often and stop volunteering for things.  It seems that I overwhelm myself with volunteer work which left T out and me frustrated with lack of time and pressure of getting things done that didn't include him.  As I continue to think about this, all those volunteer things that kept me busy kept me from wanting to spend my free time with him doing the things that WE used to do together.  At that point, I would have rathered stay home and rest than go out. Wrong Motivations?  After re-reading the chapter on major motivation I have is bitterness.  I hang on to wrongs and hold grudges far too much.  I've stopped giving after so much resentment has built up for not feeling appreciated or not getting anything in return.  I believe that love is give and receive, the more you give, the better you feel and the more the other should want to give in return.  Maybe I'm looking at it all wrong, but my bitterness is there and causes me to definitley be irritable.  Let go of the bitterness...