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Blessed

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HELLO, LD COMMUNITY!!! It has been a while since I posted here and I would like to say that I miss reading your encouraging comments. I also miss reading about the spiritual growth that everyone here is experiencing. Most of us are maybe in this site because our marriage is falling apart, yet I would like to remind everyone that GOD LOVES YOU and He will definitely walk your way through this --- just BELIEVE in Him and trust the process. It may be painful but endure it and you will definitely reap its fruits eventually. :)

 

Months ago, I left the city where husband and I lived for several years and I came back to my hometown. I was scared that it may end everything between my hubs and I since before I left he was already thinking of getting our marriage annulled. However, there is nothing more I can do about it since it is already way beyond my control. I just lifted it all to God and told God that I would focus more on what He wanted me to become --- a lawyer and not obsess over my marriage after all whether I do something or not He still has it covered.

 

Since the move I tried to keep my relationship with the Lord stable. I don’t know but I find it difficult to pray at our home, perhaps because I cannot find a place where I can be alone in peace (haha) hence I to try my hardest to keep up with my devotionals, etc. I must say that the enemy try its hardest when your relationship with God strengthens. I have been tried a couple of times already (more of it later or in my next posts) but God really has my back. I got into a certain time though when I told God that I am no longer going to pray for my marriage. I forgot what made me say that but I believe it was because of what happened between me and my hubs at some point where again I got hurt and disappointed. However, last June 3, I attended the Grand Pentecost Celebration of this prayer ministry I started to attend to and the talk during that time was about Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. During that time, we were told to revive every dream we had that we thought is impossible. We were told to disregard what the world tells us – that such dreams are absurd, crazy or in no way can happen. We were told that it is the time to believe again; that no matter how impossible such dream maybe God can still make it possible. It was at that very moment that I realized that I have to begin praying for the restoration of my marriage again. Yes, I may not know when or how it is going to happen but I only need to believe that IT WILL DEFINITELY HAPPEN. My friends may think it is crazy, people may think I am just holding on to false hopes but I am fixing my eyes on God and I know that whatever may come out of my prayers, it is still the best thing that He intend me to have.

 

Earlier today my husband called. I failed to answer it. What surprised me though was the fact that he called up my cousin (I live with them since I practically grew up under my aunt’s care and my cousin is like my older sister). My aunt, my cousin and I were surprised. He does not do that ever. Even when we were still together I find myself feeling envious of these women whose boyfriends or husbands will go out of their way to find them and reach them (e.g. calling friends she claims she is with, etc). My cousin doesn’t also think it was my husband since he sounded different (haha). I told her he definitely would sound different (polite, soft spoken etc) because it is awkward for him to talk to any of my family member since of course: HE BROKE MY HEART. Well, perhaps hoping he can talk to me since I failed to answer his calls and I texted him prior to that that he “blocked” me on his phone since none of my calls can get through (it will just ring and then the line goes busy --- typical case when you block someone from your contact list). Perhaps he wanted to explain. But I am feeling upset about it and I just don’t want to say anything stupid to him. He kept calling me (hahaha). I answered his call when I was already in my dormitory. We talked. As expected he explained about the phone (which to me is not really important. If he blocked me then it was his choice. No need to explain. I am upset but I don’t really need to hear him explain. I’m OK with it.) But, OK I must give the man a chance. I salute him for being patient actually. What amazes me is his efforts. I don’t really know why he decided to reach out to my family this time and I don’t want to think about it either. However, I cannot help but be grateful to God for that moment.

 

 

My hubs and I are no closer to patching things up. I cannot even see it happening soon. But I still pray that it will happen. I will still choose to believe everyday that God can pull off some miracles – I just got to have faith. 

  • Gotta love being "God" crazy!  So glad you posted and miss you on here.  Yes, like I said, so often we just have to get out of the way and let God work- really get out of the way.  He works in ways we can never imagine, or can't see through our own anguish and pain from our trials and letting go.  Hard work, friend.  You have so many inspiring posts from your journey.  Let's stand for both of our hubs as well as ourselves as we continue to keep our eyes on Him!  Hugs.

  • Changes in living arrangements and routines can disrupt prayer time or the ability to find a place to pray in peace.  Can you wake up early and drop in a church or sit in a park to pray?  

    Thank God for his effort in calling you, and then let God know even though you enjoyed your hubs trying to reach you, you enjoy His company all the more.

    Keep having patience with His ways and His timing.

  • PAR: True! We must not let our eyes wonder and focus on Him alone. No matter what people say we must believe that our God is greater than anyone else. We must keep the faith and always remember that our God makes the impossible possible. :)

    TIM: Yes, I must remember to thank God for those simple moments He allowed me to experience. I was able to find a church and a prayer gorup so I am OK now. :)

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