Collaborate without boundaries

How do you handle it? I NEED ADVICE, ABOVE ALL PRAYERS!!!!!

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In my previous post, I have mentioned that my husband wanted an annulment after 1 year of separation. He wanted meto also give him an assurance by signing a contract stating that I am OK with us already living separately and I will no longer care about what he does and will not press criminal charges against him if say he finds someone new or something. He wants to make sure he is not helping me get my Atty. degree and just use it against him. It feels like he already found someone new and he only wanted to pacify his conscience by having that agreement. Such agreement wont hold in court anyway since marriage cannot be compromised here in our country (legally). An agreement as such is void. He worries what people might say. He is worried that he is like picking a rock and using it to hit his own head or something. It saddens me because we have been togethe for 7 years and yet he sees me as someone who would take revenge. 

As for the annulment, he asked if it is ok with me to file it. He will give me the money, I will accuse him of anything, he wont contest it, just so he can have our marriage dissolved. Of course I said no. He then asked me if I am OK about him filing it and he wants me not to contest it. I said NO again. 

I told him he is just scared and confused and he should take time. ANYWAY, I WILL RELAY MORE DETAILS ON MY NEXT POST. Bottom line is i still said NO.

This coming friday he wants us to "talk" again. This time I may get answers to my "why's" Why he decided to leave me.. why he doesnt want to give it a try.. why he fell out of love etc..

Many of you here have posted things about your spouse actually filing for divorce. Some went through it some are waiting. All I wanted right now is some advice (and prayers) on how to deal with it. Im pretty sure when we will have the talk he will insist on it. I really wanted to know how I can react. What to say, what not to say etc. I dont want to come strong and insensitive yet i dont want to appear weak neither. How did you handle the news that your spouse is filing for divorce? Honestly, I am scared. Scared that I may not say the right words. He even told me the last time we talked that I kept praying but what is the use since it remained unanswered. :(

Please tell me how to handle the said "talk" if ever. I have today until friday morning to pray for wisdom. I do appreciate "tips" as well. Please pray for me that I will be able to share to my hubs God's love when we talk. And please pray that God will also give him peace and wisdom so that he will not insist on the annulment just yet. 

  • In 1 Corinthians 14:1 we are told to pursue love.  The love here is agape, which is not romantic love, familial love, brotherly love but it is unconditional love.  Keeping that unconditional love on the forefront of your mind that says no matter what he says to me I will not react in an fleshly manner.

    1 Corinthians 16:14 also compounds this by telling us we are to do it in love, agape again.  Galatians 5:22-23 tells us what the fruits of the spirit are as well so you can read through those to know how we are to respond and experience God's love for us and the gifts He will give us.  Just before Galatians 5:22 we are told what the spiritual gifts are not.  Use this to remind yourself how you are to act everyday.

    One part that took me the longest to give in to was to fully and completely trust in God's plan.  I had to throw in my 2 cents all of the time.  As time went on I threw in less and less of my own opinion of how I should act or respond to her but once I truly gave it all to Him I began to experience these fruits of the spirit and it is has made a tremendous impact on my life and everyday living.  Once I had given everything over to God I was able to take a step back and focus more on my relationship with the Lord of our universe and find more ways to glorify Him.  He has given me the opportunity to work with many men on what it really means to become Godly men in their lives and in their marriages.

    I will continue to pray for you Princess and I want you to know that without a single doubt you really area  Princess in God's eyes.

  • In all, show love.  Be kind and patient.  do not lead with emotion.  Emotion in this will cause turmoil.  Do not get desperate and think you have to do something drastic.  When we get nervous or panic, we so often then take control from God and then mess things up all the more.

    This may be part of his breaking point.  Maybe he is pushing so hard because of conviction.   Maybe Christ is hitting him so hard with His conviction that your husband is now desperate to do something about it, yet does not know what to do, so he brings down his frustration on you.  Since he doesn't understand Christ's conviction.  

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