Collaborate without boundaries

Love Celebrates Godliness

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Today's Dare was to find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian Character in a noticaeble way ) faith, honesty, patience, kindness etc). Well, I prayed and thought on it all day. It kept coming back to my mind how kind my husband has been to me lately. So, I called him and there was no answer. So, I left and message, "T", this is Peg, I wanted to commend and thank you for being so kind to me, God bless, I love you". Then, I hung up.

Also, I have decided after talking with my friend from our home church and my pastor tonight I plan on returning to our home church. Many weeks ago, our pastor asked me to take a "vacation" from church otherwise my husband won't attend. Well, trust me it has been really hard I have felt like a "misfit" toy like from the Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer movie. I missed my home church plus I was on the Praise & Worship Team and my love is to worship God. Anyhow, many weeks have passed. Our pastor suggested me to talk to my husband and between the two of us decide who would go to our church. Our pastor said, "We would love to have you, or your husband, or even better both of you". Well, it's been 2 weeks ago since I called my husband about it. He didn't answer and I left a message and even offered to go to another church (which I have been doing though I didn't say that). He has never returned my call so I  am thinking him not responding to me he already made a decision. He has not been going to our church for 2 months. I just talked to our pastor and he said, "Peggy, come back "T" has not been coming. We spent a few hours together last Saturday. I asked him how he was doing. "T" responded "His joy is back". Also, pastor said it seemed like his spunk was back too. I told our pastor I will be returning to our church and I am praying "T" will return someday. Pastor responded, "It may take a year or longer though stranger seems have happened". This is our home church you know and we got married in this church. I am not sure how it will feel going there without my husband yet I stopped there tonight and I walked up to the sanctuary and I said, "Lord, I really miss going here". After my girlfriend from church told me to "Come home" (meaning our church) and after the conversation afterwards with our pastor I have decided that is what I will do. I really this is a long post. I really need to journal all of this. This is such an important part of my life. Thanks for reading if you got this far. LOL

  • You offered to  talk to him about this and asked for his  input, he stopped going for  2 months, it is your church too, I would agree and say go.

    Nothing like  feeling comfortable in church.  It must  be the feeling of guilt  in how our spouses abandon church in this trial.  

    If he shows up some day at church unexpected, do not  make a big deal of  it and don't be hurt if he sits somewhere else.  It'll be a big step for him to come back.  

    he may say his joy is back and he may look like he's got more spunk, but it can be all temporary and a show.  He has to show others and himself he is justified in his poor choices he's made.  Let God deal with this.  

  • Our spouses will often become more exuberant, cheerful, and outgoing to  try to force fun in their lives that they sense are really miserable lives.  But this doesn't fool them forever. All things of the flesh tarnish and become old.  It will happen to him if it isn't already becoming evident to him.

  • Thanks Tim, yea I was talking to a girlfriend and I told her I need some normalcy. She doesn't understand my wanting to return to my church yet this is my decision. I made the mistake of asking her how she really felt about me standing for my marriage as I needed her support. She struggled as she said, "She doesn't want to see me keep hurting"/ She thinks my husband has been acting like a jerk and she thinks I should give it 100% to God. I told her I am. I didn't feel much support for the LoveDares as she doesn't understand me contacting him. She said, "He should be after you". I understand what she is saying though I told her I won't give up. I want another chance. I am going to stand for my marriage. I love my husband and God has changed my heart. She said, "Okay, let's pray for another chance". So we prayed. I didn't sleep all night. I tried everything, prayer, heating pad, Christian music../nothing worked finally I just got up since it was six a.m. Oh, well, I am going to go lay on the love seat, listen to TBN and see if I can fall asleep for a little bit.

  • You say this is a long post... have you read any of mine? I'm basically writing a book on here. LOL

    You need to get yourself closer to God and God will work everything out. This "pain" we are going through is for our growth. God works everything for good. Just like the "thorn" in Paul's side. It pained him but God told Paul that His grace was sufficient.

    I believe you should go to your church regardless of what your husband does. I really don't think you should have ever stopped. It's your husbands choice to attend or not. My wife comes to church sometimes but never sits with me. The whole church sees it and assumes something is wrong. Some have asked me and I tell them they need to talk to her about it and ask them to pray for us. I see people talking to her too but I don't know what about. There's one gentleman that tells me she doesn't answer his questions. I think she knows she is wrong in this situation and doesn't want to talk about it. I believe your husband does too. Like Tim said our spouses like to act like their life is fun but we know they are miserable. We can see it and it hurts us. It won't last forever. Eventually they will need help and hopefully it will be us that they come to help for. So we have to be prepared. We have to know our scripture. We have to be understanding. We have to be compassionate. We have to show love.

    It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your marriage. God is VERY specific about marriage. It is sacred. Between you, your husband, and God. A three strand cord. Follow what God says. Love your husband unconditionally.

    "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

    Ecclesiastes 4:12

    "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

    Colossians 3:12

  • Eddie, thank you. Your entire post was truthful. I thank God for you and Tim and everyone on this site. I can feel the prayers and all of you have been an incredible support. Brothers and sisters in Christ standing with arms and hearts locked for their marriages. Thank you, Jesus.

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