Peaches's journal

Day 80: Love is a Covenant

2012-07-26T10:00:36Z

Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.

—Ruth 1:16

Today's Dare

Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present. Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God's eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.

Round 2 – Day 40

What a journey this has been. Hard, but so rewarding! Yet again looking at my situation, it has not changed much, but I have. I look at things different now and can’t believe that the same things upset me so greatly before. I handle my family better and I can see Christ working in all of us! My husband and I have conversations about our future, about Christ, that we haven’t had in a long time! Praise God!

My dear friends on LD, thank you all for your help and support during the most difficult time of my life! Thanks for holding me accountable! Your support and understanding has kept me going many a day and I know it is because Christ is in all of it! As you can all probably see from my post, I will not be doing round 3 of the 40 day Dare, but I will continue to implement the Love Dare in my life. It might not be day by day, but I have the Love Dare yearly devotional for married couples, and I think that I might ask hubby if he wants to do that with me. If not I will continue to do it myself. I will pray on asking hubby first of course.

The most difficult thing for me was giving up my control. Leaving my life in His capable Hands, but the reward was so sweet. I don’t stress about my life anymore because the pressure is off me, now I can enjoy life!

Hubby and I have spoken before about renewing our vows this year and in round 1 I did not write my vows because of this. Since we have not set plans in motion to do it officially yet, I have decided this round I will write them. Our 10 year wedding anniversary is in December of this year, and I’ll speak to hubby again and ask if he was serious about the renewal of our vows, and start putting our intentions/plans into action.

Since this is my last official entry on the 40 day dare, I will share my vows.

10 years ago, I pledged my love and commitment to you, but it seems like only yesterday. I promised to love you, honour you, comfort and keep you. Others come and go, but you are the constant in my life; the one that I will always love.

You have already given me the greatest gifts of my life: your love, and our beautiful children. I promise to continue building our family together, celebrating our joy, comforting one another in hard times, and strengthening our family's future.

Today I pledge to you what has already been yours for so long - my eternal love.
As we have always done, I promise to walk hand-in-hand with you through life's journeys.
No matter what lies in our path, it will be our path, together. In the joys and troubles that lie ahead of us, I will be faithful and loving to you.

I believe in this marriage more than ever, and I reaffirm my love and commitment to you, loving you now and as you grow and develop into all that God intends. I will love you when we are together and when we are apart; when our lives are at peace and when they are in turmoil; when I am proud of you and when I am disappointed in you; in times of rest and in times of work. I will honour your goals and dreams and help you to fulfil them. From the depth of my being, I will seek to be open and honest with you. I say these things believing that God is in the midst of them all. Today, in the presence of God, I renew my vows to you, pledging my eternal love for you, and eagerly awaiting what life may bring us.

Praise God for all He has done in my life! I’m truly thankful and humble! God luck to all of you! (Purposely not “good” but “God”). May we all continue to seek Him in bad times and praise Him in the good times. He is forever faithful!

My words for today:

Ephesians 6

¹⁰Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

2 Corinthians 3

⁵Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.

Day 79: Love Endures

2012-07-25T13:35:27Z

Love never fails.

—1 Corinthians 13:8

Today's Dare

Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.

I spent some time in prayer in the afternoon just for today’s dare. This is my letter.

My Love,

What an honour to have you in my life! You are the one person in this world I can bear my soul to, I can be myself with. I’m truly blessed to have been given the opportunity to love you. I thank God for you every single day and I want you to know that I choose to love you, no matter what.

I know you don’t always like the “heavy stuff”, but I don’t want to give up the opportunity to thank you for everything, big and small, that you do for me and the kids. In the last few months I have seen you grow in Christ taking a stronger stand as head of our home and family and I want to commend you for that.

I hope that we can grow even closer together, with God at the steering wheel of our marriage and that we will be able to stand strong because we never take our eyes off Him. I know there are times that I can be a better wife and mother and it is my prayer that I will submit myself more to our Lord, so I can be the person that He wants me to be for you guys, and also for myself.

I want you to know that I have taken a stand for our marriage, and that is not something I will take lightly ever again. I pray that Christ will mould us together, knit us closer as a couple and a family so that we may be an inspiration to others.

After all this time and everything we have been through, my choice remains to Love you!

I will work on this always.

Love forever.

I was led to leave it in his bible, between the old and new testaments. Sort of a done with the old, ready to begin with the new… His bible has a lot of personal keepsakes and letters in it, so it didn’t really stand out and even with his prayer and devotions tonight, he did not notice it. I will leave the “when” up to Christ. I know when the time is right for him to find it, he will. All in His time.

My word for today:

Exodus 33:15

Moses said: “If You aren’t going with us, don’t let us move a step from this place”

I’m replacing “Moses” with my own name, as an Invite to Christ to go with me (and my husband). Moving forward with Him is a source of blessing. He is our greatest asset, and I will not move until He has spoken. I want what He wants for us, I desire His plan for our lives!

Day 78: Love Fulfills Dreams

2012-07-24T06:57:02Z

Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.

—Psalm 37:4

Today's Dare

Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.

Right now, I know my husband’s dream is to sell the farm and buy a house. This is not something I can do for him, but it is something I can pray about and we have both been praying about this. I feel a lot closer to hubby spiritually, since the weekend. Our drive back and talking about the Lord and all the wonderful things He is doing in our lives, seemed to have pulled us together again.

I made mention of it during a Skype messages to him to say how bubbly I feel about us since the weekend, he said he felt the same.

I will keep praying on the farm/house but I will also pray that God reveal anything (dream) to me that I could fulfil for hubby. I try in any way to put his wants and needs before my own.

In one of our many conversations about Christ on Sunday, I mentioned how we keep on sinning, even when we know it is wrong, we sometimes do it without realizing. I asked hubby what he thought what happens to us when we sin, but die before we repent. Last night I got the following scripture in my devotion time.

Romans 7

Good News Translation (GNT)

The Conflict in Us

¹⁴ We know that the Law is spiritual; but I am a mortal, sold as a slave to sin.¹⁵ I do not understand what I do; for I don't do what I would like to do, but instead I do what I hate.¹⁶ Since what I do is what I don't want to do, this shows that I agree that the Law is right.¹⁷ So I am not really the one who does this thing; rather it is the sin that lives in me.¹⁸ I know that good does not live in me—that is, in my human nature. For even though the desire to do good is in me, I am not able to do it.¹⁹ I don't do the good I want to do; instead, I do the evil that I do not want to do.²⁰ If I do what I don't want to do, this means that I am no longer the one who does it; instead, it is the sin that lives in me.

²¹ So I find that this law is at work: when I want to do what is good, what is evil is the only choice I have.²² My inner being delights in the law of God.²³ But I see a different law at work in my body—a law that fights against the law which my mind approves of. It makes me a prisoner to the law of sin which is at work in my body.²⁴ What an unhappy man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is taking me to death?²⁵ Thanks be to God, who does this through our Lord Jesus Christ!

This, then, is my condition: on my own I can serve God's law only with my mind, while my human nature serves the law of sin.

Day 76: Love is God's Word & Day 77: Love Agrees in Prayer

2012-07-23T07:36:33Z

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

—Psalm 119:105

Today's Dare

Commit to reading the Bible every day. Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.

If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father.

—Matthew 18:19

Today's Dare

Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it's in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don't forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.

We got up early this morning for our “Road Trip”. We dropped the kids of at my sister-in-law last night already and left hubby’s bakkie (small pick-up truck) there. His sister wanted to use it over the weekend and so she gave us her car to use for the weekend. She drives a blue Subaru, with the stickers and all. Very powerful car, but we kept to the speed limit and kept it very safe. We left 4am and were in Tzaneen by 10am. The trip there was awesome. We talked all the way. We made friends every stop we had. We gave a petrol jock a lift when he came off shift, and he was very thankful for the ride. We saw the most beautiful sunrise and spoke about how blessed we were.

When we arrived in Tzaneen, we phoned the agent and he met us there. We all drove with his car out to the farm and we found the borehole quite easily. As we were driving on the farm, I said to hubby, look out into the field as we are driving and asked how it felt knowing, this is all yours. He said he hadn’t quite thought about it like that, but wow. I felt very excited for him. We went to where the house once stood and now there are only 2 walls left. We walked for ages as he spoke of things that used to be here or there and the dam his grandfather built… it was still there; his mom and dad’s anthill. The agent was so nice, het just let us take our time and soak it in. We took a lot of pictures and a couple of hours later we were on the road back. The agent told us about all the farmers in the area and it was very interesting to hear him go on about the citrus industry that is so big and when and how they harvest etc. in Tzaneen he dropped us off where we left our car and hubby and I had even more to talk about on our drive back. We stopped in Pietersburg (Polokwane) phoned his cousin to find out if they were home and we could come for coffee. We had packed an overnight bag to stay over, but I prayed on this before and asked God to lead us in sleeping over or going home. His cousin was not home so at 4pm we left for home.

We saw game along the side of the road. Kudu’s, Giraffe’s and even Springboks. We were in awe of God’s creations. We discussed how we thought the Buffalo should be replaced by a Giraffe in the Big 5 because it is so majestic.

Our conversation turned to God. We discussed so many things. I said to him how I appreciated our family bible time at night and how God should lead us to pray together as a family. (Day 37) We both praised God for everything he has given us. We talked about how we thought it would be when Jesus comes again. Great conversation! We didn’t turn the radio on once! We saw an awesome sunset; more or less at the same place we saw the sun rise in the morning.

We spoke of how blessed we are, how many prayers God had answered, just in this day! From keeping us safe on the road, to finding the borehole, to keeping the car from getting stolen or broken into where we left it in Tzaneen, keeping us kind to other people who admired the car. Some petrol jocks even gave it a wash for free! We tipped them and revved the car for quite a few people during the course of the day, and all we saw were smiles. We made a few people’s day. The one guy even told us “I love you for having this car, so that I could see it”. We made friends everywhere we stopped. We had a safe journey, a successful day and could end the day, in prayer, devotion and thanksgiving to God!

We slept in since the kids were still at my sister-in-law. When we got there, the kids were so happy to see us. They had a good weekend and enjoyed getting spoilt by their aunty and uncle.

Day 75: Love is Accountable

2012-07-20T08:09:24Z

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

—Proverbs 15:22 NIV

Today's Dare

Find a marriage mentor - someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counselling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.

Counselling the last time round didn’t work out so well, but I’m ok with that. I have friends on LD that counsel me daily. I’m held accountable when I step out of line and when I need advice it overflows in posts; you all are ready to help. Besides, as God showed out to me the day of my session… Love is satisfied in God. He is the great counsellor!

I seek Him in all I do and when my judgment gets clouded and I want to take matters into my own hands, thankfully I realize it before I do and I can ask forgiveness and pray about the situation.

I’m very excited about our road trip to the farm and I’m looking forward to spending time with hubby. We might stop at his cousin Saturday afternoon depending on how early we finish up with the agent. His sister says it will make his cousin’s weekend if we dropped by or maybe even sleep over. This is something that I will commit to prayer and we can discuss it on our way. With 6 hours of drive time, we will have plenty of opportunity to talk.

All the good feelings are still in and around me and I’m praising God for the wonders in my life. He has blessed me in so many ways.

Day 74: Love Celebrates Godliness

2012-07-20T06:55:05Z

[Love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth.

—1 Corinthians 13:6

Today's Dare

Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.

My day started off with a meeting in town. I got to work quite late and found only the supervisors of the factory at work. The lady that works in the office with me has been booked off till Monday and all the workers in the factory has been given time off till Monday too. The 4 supervisors or as I call them “the boys” asked me if I had a lot to do. I said yes and asked why they wanted to know. They replied (just like children digging with their toes in the sand) they wanted to go home early today, but the boss said they are not to leave me alone at the factory, so if I don’t go home, then they can’t either. I laughed at them, but said I’d get together a few things and work from home. They were very excited.

I let my husband know that I was going home early but that I’d work from there and asked him if he could pick up both kids so I could have a little extra time to work before they all got home. He agreed.

He let me know that his assistant suggested that they swop “working weekends” so that hubby could be off this weekend if he wanted to go to the farm. We discussed it a bit and agreed that he would do the swop, if he could make arrangements with the agent to meet us this weekend and also arrange with his sister to look after the kids for the weekend. We had discussed yesterday that we would ask his sister if the kids could spend the weekend when we needed to go to the farm. It would be better for them not to be with us. 6 hr. trip to the farm and 6 hrs. back. Plus, there is no house or ablution facility on the farm it is just grass, trees and rock. We also want to leave about 3am and it would just be cruel to wake the kids that time in the morning in the middle of winter to be stuck in a car for most of the day.

At home it took me quite a while to set up the printer etc and get to working. Got most of the things I planned done and spent only a couple of minutes finishing up after hubby and the kids arrived.

I thanked him again for picking up the kids and said that the people who had to bring the stationary bike had not come yet. He phoned them and arrangements were made for tomorrow again. Hubby hit the gym and the rest of the evening was pretty normal.

At bedtime, after prayer and devotions, hubby and I spent a few minutes just talking. We are both excited about our “road trip” this weekend. We had not done anything like this in the last 12 years! Me and him alone! I had discussed it with my mom earlier and she didn’t seem too happy that we are leaving the kids with my sister in law, but I know my kids will have fun and I’m sticking to our decision. Hubby said that he would not even have told my mom, but I reminded him to not be more forgiving and soften his heart towards my mother. He replied with something like “I know”.

I also mentioned that a friend of mine asked me some advice today about her daughter who is the same age as our daughter. I told her to pray together with her daughter about the things that are upsetting her, and ask Christ’s blessing on it. I took the opportunity then to complete my dare for today (which I prayed on during my devotion time) and commended hubby for anointing his shop recently. He mentioned the night we went out for our son’s birthday that he had never done it, but the morning while he was making coffee, I took the time, walked through his entire shop and blessed/anointed it with water. We spoke about it for a while and then our conversation went to our daughters prayers again. I’ve never heard a child her age pray like this. They normally ask for things, but not her. She always prays for the kids that hurt her or are being mean to her first, and then she prays for her friends. She prayed last night again for a lady we saw in a wheelchair and then she thanks for everything she is excited about, like visiting with her aunty for the weekend…. It comes out twisted and I really have to listen for it, but if I could make out all these things she prayed for how much more does Christ hear? She is amazing.

The night ended so well. Peace all around.

Today 16 years ago, my dad passed away. He was a wonderful father and he loved me dearly. I had posted a comment on Facebook and a friend replied via text. She spoke of when we were small and how great our dads were. How she one day saved me from a hiding because she thought my dad was joking and grabbed the “sambok” from him. It broke eventually and I didn’t get a hiding that day. She said how she always had to please and explain herself to her mom after playing at my house because when my dad and I dropped her off at home, my dad used to tell her mom that she was so naughty. Her mom never wanted her to play by my house again, until she got to know my dad a bit better and realised he was just joking…. We had a few laughs about the good old days and thanked God for giving us great dads on earth that helped us become the woman we are today.

I can’t explain the way I feel. It is bubbly and fuzzy. The best I can come up with is happy, blessed, peaceful, loved and thankful.

My word received for today:

Lamentations 3

(NIV)

²²Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. ²³They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

Day 73: Love Completes Each Other

2012-07-19T09:31:50Z

If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?

—Ecclesiastes 4:11

Today's Dare

Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.

I read the dare early this morning. We generally include each other in decisions and today it was more obvious to me than other days. I’m sure it is because I know it is what today’s dare is all about. From the small things to the big things we consulted with each other the entire day. Hubby asked me if we should pay cash for the people that fixed our stationary bike, or if we should do EFT. I asked him what cake/tarts I should get for the guests coming tonight; and back and forth it went. We discussed it, each gave our opinion on what should be done and agreed on the action. It was brilliant.

I had a meeting again after work, so I asked hubby if he can pick up both the kids, and even though he was waiting for his assistant to return from a delivery and was a bit late himself, he agreed to do it. After my meeting I drew the money for the stationary bike because hubby asked me earlier to do it, and got the cake and tart from the bakery.

We had a fun evening and our son enjoyed getting presents and a visit from his aunty, uncle and cousin.

While bathing the kids, hubby shared with me that he might have a buyer for his farm, but the guy wants to see the borehole. The agent has not been able to find it. So again including each other in decisions we discussed going to the farm either this weekend or the next to show the agent exactly where it is. After be bathed the kids, we got out the permanent marker and marked on the inside of the door post how tall they are. It’s kind of a “tradition” on birthdays so they can see each year how they have grown. :-)

We all got to bed late, but still had out prayer and devotion time. I was quite cold when I got in bed and even though hubby joked and said I should stay away from him because I’m freezing, he pulled me into his arms. He put his bible next to him because he was done reading, and closed his eyes. I’m not sure if he prayed, but it seemed to me like he was praying. It felt truly magical lying in his arms, him holding me so tightly, knowing he might be praying. It makes me thing of today’s verse. “If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?” —Ecclesiastes 4:11

When he moved again, I got up to switch off the light and took the opportunity to thank him for how we can include each other in decisions and told him that his opinion is very important to me. He first looked puzzled that I brought it up out of the blue, but he smiled and said “of course”

I’m so thankful to God for everything. From the seemingly “small” to the big things we have been praying on answers for. One of the “big” things in particular I thanked Him for tonight was sending us a potential buyer for the farm. This will be and answer to our “leaving and cleaving” prayer. Praise Him. I also thanked Him for the 3 years He has allowed me to enjoy with my son and 5 ½ years with my daughter, and asked Him for guidance to raise my kids well, so that they will know Christ and choose Christ, when they are old enough to make the decision themselves. God is wonderful! My life is truly blessed!

Day 72: Love Meets Sexual Needs

2012-07-18T08:00:26Z

The husband must fulfil his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

—1 Corinthians 7:3

Today's Dare

If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honours what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.

I was very nervous about today’s dare. Especially since the last conversation we had about intimacy I was left feeling dirty and perverted. We had not been intimate in a while as I leave the choice up to hubby for when he feels like it.

I prayed about it constantly throughout the day and God made sure I had enough to do to keep my mind off of it. I enjoyed being busy at work, hubby and I chatted about the kids a bit. He had to get up earlier than normal because he told our son he would take him and his sister to school! Bless, and so he did. Our boy really enjoyed it and I also thanked hubby that I appreciated that he did it and it also gave me time to do some washing in the morning, rather than leaving everything for the evening.

Hubby phoned during the day to ask if I could pick up the kids, he was running late. I explained that I had to go into town for a meeting, but as soon as I’m done I’ll phone him and we can see who is where and arrange picking up the kids. When I arrived at my meeting hubby let me know he was leaving work. After my meeting, I phoned him he had just picked up our daughter. I said that I would pick up our son, then we’ll be home more or less the same time. He agreed.

After I picked up our son, I went to the vet to get dog food (hubby mentioned yesterday that he took out the last), I stopped by the bakery for a cake for school tomorrow and also for some juice for the school party. When we got home, hubby and our daughter were already there. He helped me unload the car, and thanked me for getting the dog food.

My mom suggested that we go out for supper, since tomorrow evening all the friends and family will probably come to wish our son a happy Birthday. We agreed and we all went out for supper. The kids enjoyed it so much and even got their faces painted. Supper was my mom’s treat to us and I made sure I thanked her properly for it.

At home, we bathed the kids & got them in bed, had our family bible & prayer time again. When hubby and I went to bed we had our prayer and devotion again. I prayed again on guidance for today’s dare, and for Christ to take this “fear” away from me.

He calmed me and gave me the courage to complete the dare. It was received well by hubby and all the fear and doubts faded away. Praise God!

In the morning, when we got up, hubby asked how I was doing, I responded with “tired” he teased me and said, “well it is your fault we are tired”, but he pulled me closer hugged me.

All the glory to Christ our Lord!

My word for today:

Matthew 7

(GNT)

¹¹ As bad as you are, you know how to give good things to your children. How much more, then, will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Day 71: Love and Marriage

2012-07-17T06:43:53Z

A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

—Genesis 2:24

Today's Dare

Is there a "leaving" issue you haven't been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.

We have already dealt with our Leaving issues, but as yet, have not found a suitable place for us. Hubby is not keen on renting a place and is holding out until we can buy a place of our own, which is dependent on the selling of his farm. We are however dealing with my mother much more effectively.

The day was busy, but hubby contacted me at some stage to check in and we chatted for a while. He said that he had told our son he would pick him up from school so I don’t need to worry about the kids, he will pick them up.

Otherwise we had a quiet evening. We had a few laughs at the funny things the kids do, we chatted a bit on how his day went, and hubby asked about my day too! It was great! ! I shared with him that a colleague of mine is sick and I feel so sorry for her because she still has to do everything regarding her kids, food, etc. while her husband sits in front of the TV, and all she probably needs and wants is to just get into bed early. I took the opportunity to thank him for not being like that, but being the helpful man he is and told him that I thank God for him too. He laughed and gave my hand a squeeze.

I praise God for His workings within my marriage.

My word for today:

Psalm 84:11

(NLT)

¹¹For the Lord God is our sun and our shield.
He gives us grace and glory.
The Lord will withhold no good thing
from those who do what is right.

Day 70: Love Brings Unity

2012-07-16T09:44:48Z

Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We are.

—John 17:11

Today's Dare

Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.

I got up early with the kids again and let hubby sleep in. He didn’t sleep as late as usual and by 11am he was ready to go into town. We did not find a gift for our son, so we decided to take him shopping so he can choose for himself. I got ready quickly and we went to the mall.

It was a quiet day, together as a family and we enjoyed every moment. Our son only got himself a “toy story” mug, so we will put a little extra money in his savings account for later.

We had lunch together and went home. We spent the rest of the day watching movies and taking it easy.

I could not identify any area of division. Even though this should be a good sign, I will pray on this matter, because as we all know, the wheels come off at some stage or another! LOL. I have found that a lot of times, there are no “big” issues that are a constant interruption to our marriage, but it is the small things that can bring division. I will be on the lookout for these and ask Christ to guide me in order to steer clear of them or to handle them according to His will when they are inevitable.

I really enjoyed a great weekend with my family. Praise God!

Day 69: Love's Motivation

2012-07-16T09:44:15Z

Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men.

—Ephesians 6:7 HCSB

Today's Dare

Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say "I love you," then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person - unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.

Today was our son’s Birthday party, even though it is only his birthday on Wednesday. We all had a great time with family and friends and my son really enjoyed it. Hubby did not work and it was great having him around. My son enjoyed all the attention especially from his daddy!

I saw my husband the entire day, but I did pray for him and expressed my love in words and deeds.

In my prayer for him:

Lord I pray that H… will clearly hear the call You have on his life. Help him to realize who he is in Christ and give him certainty that he was created for a high purpose. Enable him to walk worthy of his calling and remind him of what You’ve called him to be. Don’t let him get side-tracked with things that are unessential to Your purpose.

Strike down discouragement so that it will not defeat him. Lift his eyes above the circumstances of the moment so he can see the purpose for which You created him. Give him patience to wait for your perfect timing.

I pray that the desires of his heart will not be in conflict with the desires of Yours. May he seek You for direction and hear when you speak to Him. May he not buy into the foolishness of this world, but keep his eyes on You and have ears to hear Your Voice.

Day 68: Love Makes Sacrifices

2012-07-16T09:43:40Z

He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.

—1 John 3:16 HCSB

Today's Dare

What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.

Today I was content. I felt close Christ. I went to work and came off early to attend a funeral of a friend, who passed away in his sleep, last Saturday night. He had had a couple of strokes the years before, last one being early in this year. It left him unable to walk or doing anything for himself. He had a tough couple of months and I believe that death was a great release for him. Even though we all had our sad moments because we will miss him, the general mood was happiness that he is with our Father, has no more pain and is free! My husband attended the service with me. The main message in the service was “God is love”.

I read the dare early the morning and the whole day I was seeking out what sacrifice I could make for my husband. I was searching for something I could do for him. I wanted it to be something big, but I think it was more in the smaller things I do every day, that I met his needs. He actually helped me out a lot. Took care of the kids, while I baked a cake for our son’s birthday party tomorrow, and helped me where he could. We worked together as a team again and it felt awesome.

Day 67: Love Encourages

2012-07-13T06:59:34Z

Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You.

—Psalm 25:20

Today's Dare

Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.

When I read today’s dare, I laughed at myself. Laughed because just yesterday I was saying, “I feel it is my duty as his wife to keep him in check” where today’s dare says, “divorce is nearly inevitable when people refuse to allow their spouses to be human” LOL. Yes, thank you Lord, I get it loud and clear! Love how He so gently reminds me!

Contact with hubby was minimal again. He sent me some pictures of tricycles that he went to look for, as a gift to our son, but nothing that grabbed either of us to say “this is the one”. I asked him later on if he was busy, he replied, not really and never too busy so he can’t speak to me. I replied with how nice it is of him to say something like that and just said that I was feeling a little insecure lately “out of sight, out of mind”. He said not to worry, and it is just because we are both busy at work lately.

He said he was busy making space for furniture coming back from Big brother SA so with that I said I would not keep him any longer and let him go. Later we both chatted with his daughter from Australia. That was it.

Hubby was very loving when he got home, and held me a lot, gave me a big hug and kiss when he came in the door. After prayer and devotion time, he kept sitting up in bed, so I figured he wanted to chat since I confessed earlier that I have been feeling insecure because we don’t really talk anymore. We had a bit of a chat about his work, about the house he thinks will be perfect for us etc. Later he went quiet and I asked him if he was ok, he said he was, and that he was just enjoying the moment, getting nice and warm in bed, me lying on his chest etc.

Hubby has never said anything along the lines of me expecting too much of him, and in round one I knew it was sex. Even though I would still like for us to be more intimate, I am not expecting it from him, and do not feel rejected when we do not have those intimate moments so often. When I do feel that it is due and start feeling that longing, I pray to Christ to fill me with his peace and love and to fill my void. I feel at peace, and even though I do not expect it, Praise God, we more often than not end up being intimate that very day or at least the next.

So as I’m lying on hubby’s chest I look up at him and asked him if I’m being too hard on him in anything, expecting too much, he rolls his eyes takes a deep breath and says: No love. I know he gets irritated with me when I start being too serious about our relationship. Hubby thinks we are doing just fine and he doesn’t want to be part of this soul searching, getting closer to each other. I start talking about how when we were dating things were easier, because it was all about pleasing each other and how things change because we have been married for so long, He looks at me and says he doesn’t know what I’m on about. I want to explain further, but he is having none of it. Interrupts me with I’m fine, we’re fine, everything is ok. I stop talking mid-sentence.

The conversation is going nowhere. It is ok to talk about things in general, but talking about intimacy of feelings or working on us, is a no go zone. I admit I’m hurt. This is my unrealistic expectation.

I expect hubby to want to work on our relationship, while he feels it is just fine the way it is. He has not told me in so many word, but his reaction every time I want to talk about what is going on in his mind/heart or express what is going on in mine, he shuts me down, and sometimes just gets plain rude about it.

The tears were shallow, and I turned off the light. Said goodnight, but got no response. I don’t think he heard me though. So I will give up this expectation for my husband to “fix” us. I will not smother him with the heavy stuff, my love and affection, but will keep doing Christ will. In prayer I will seek out Christ’s guidance to change my approach on how to handle the questions etc. that I need to ask in future and see if I can get a reaction that does not put up walls between hubby and I.

I prayed about this before I fell asleep and Christ gave me comfort. I know He will show me a better way. He always does.

Day 66: Love is Responsible

2012-07-12T08:19:18Z

When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things.

—Romans 2:1 HCSB

Today's Dare

Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.

I have thought about secrets lately. My husband knows more about me than anyone, yet sometimes I feel like he is a stranger to me. He does not really share anything of meaning lately. When we were dating or newly married he shared a lot of things he did and was ashamed of, but now, he keeps it all to himself. I have made peace with the fact that he does not need to “confess” anything to me, it is between him and Christ, but he used to feel safe enough to share things with me previously? I always listened, never judged. So I’m investigating myself, seeking out the changes in me. Where and how did I change? Why does he not feel safe enough to share?

Round one I admitted to my husband that I have thought about doing things to get back at him, and asked his forgiveness. He said that we will work through it together. He is very supportive, but I find that there are days he is distant. My thoughts normally jump straight to the OW, but I thank Christ that as soon as I get those feelings/thoughts I was able to take it to Him, lay it at His feet and find comfort in Him. There is still pain in these moments, and I think it is because I know it is still a possibility. But as I was reminded again yesterday, it is now something between my husband and Christ. He has to own up to Christ for the wrongs he has done in his life. But this is where I feel my testimony should come into play. My husband can sometimes do something that is wrong, but feel no shame or remorse. He has a “moral flexibility” if I can call it that. I feel prompted to nudge him every now and again to show him that certain things are not acceptable.

I feel it is my duty as his wife to keep him in check. Am I wrong for feeling like this?

I pray about this all the time. I know I’m not leaving him to himself, but I’m leaving him to Christ. I just don’t get how he can feel no shame or guilt.

He still does not know I’m doing the love dare, and I’m praying on it. I’m not sure if I should at some stage share it with him. Through prayer, I’m sure Christ will let me know when, if ever.

For now, I’m soul searching myself, trying to create a safe place for hubby to “download” if he feels like it, while I will try not to smother him, yet remain honest and loving through Christ seeking His wisdom and guidance in keeping the balance.

Day 65: Love Forgives

2012-07-11T07:33:08Z

What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ.

—2 Corinthians 2:10

Today's Dare

Whatever you haven't forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to "forgive us our debts" each day, we must ask Him to help us "forgive our debtors" each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, "I choose to forgive."

Being round 2, I had already forgiven my husband in round one and I only thought about it recently that I have even kept more of his secrets than I realized. No one, other than my friends on Love dare, even knows my husband had an affair(s). They do not know about the first time (almost 9 years ago) and they do not know about now. This is something I have never told anyone. Everyone loves my husband, he is easy to like and love, and it had never occurred to me to tell anyone. It is something that I had carried in the darkest part of my heart, protecting him, so that his image with our friends remains intact.

Today we did not have much contact during the day, but I was busy at work and it did not bother me. I picked up the kids from school and went home. We had a fun time and I was amazed at how patient I was with them. Smiled at Christ and thanked Him for changing me in that way!

Food was almost done when I got a call from Hubby to say he is still at work and he was going to be a while. My heart sank into my feet and I thought of the OW. I knew his assistant went home early so if the OW was there, they were alone from early the afternoon. I recognised that satan is tempting me again with anxiety and feelings of doubt and he wants me to become the person I used to be, so I prayed. Today’s dare came to mind again, and with feelings of betrayal being so fresh in my heart and mind, I chose anew to forgive him.

When he came home, I was in a better state of mind. Peace Christ had given me was awesome. I was cheerful. I had already dished his food for him (we had eaten already), but I sat with him while he had his supper. I made him tea while I listened to how his day was.

We enjoyed our evening and I thank God that I didn’t ruin it. He gave me peace and comfort and the ability to forgive.