We are already working on the leaving, and because we left it so late, it will be difficult. My mother, is the only parent we have left between the two of us. We have been living in the same house for 8 years. She does still think I am a child and treats me as such. She also treats my kids the way she treats me, and it is NOT loving or with respect. This is one of the main things my husband and I fight. He treats her the way she treats us and then I tell him not to be so disrespectful to my mother, and so it starts. I have touched on this a couple of weeks ago, and my husband and I have decided that it is time for us to move out and be on our own again.

My husband has some farm land he has put in the market. Once this is sold we will look at buying a house, but until then we are looking at renting. We have not yet discussed it with my mother, but we will do it together as a couple as soon as we have found a suitable place.

My mother will not take it well. Even though she is always complaining about the kids, or me and what we don’t do and everything she does for us, it will be hard for her on her own. She has become very dependent on us financially, and it will take some getting used to for her to provide for herself again. She is working again, so I’m not going to let her guilt me on that, hence my backup, hubby! Together as a couple. 

I pray about it every day, because I want to do it with the most love possible.  My mother has a very short fuse and says hurtful things when she is hurt. I pray to Christ that I will be strong enough to withstand it and not to give in to anger myself, but that I will be able to continue the conversation with love. I will try and let her understand that it is better for all of us, including her.

We have not found a suitable place yet, and I think it allows me more prayer time on this particular subject.

My mother was very sick last night, and I had to clean up where she was sick. I made sure she was in bed, turned off the light and let her sleep. She went to work today. I can’t understand. I do feel guilty about not checking on her during the night, but I did not even wake up once. I’m exhausted. With working being so hectic, I crash at night and nothing wakes me up.

What if my mom got sick and we were not there to help her? That was the reason we moved in with her in the first place. My husband’s mother also died during the night and at least his sister was there to help her. My mom will have no one. 

I feel guilty already, but I know my place is with my husband. So we will keep looking for our own place. Hubby and I are both very excited about this.

My prayer and devotion time scripture was:

Proverbs 24

Saying 20

1 Do not envy the wicked, do not desire their company;

2 for their hearts plot violence, and their lips talk about making trouble.

Saying 21

3 By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established;

4 through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.

Saying 22

5 The wise prevail through great power, and those who have knowledge muster their strength.

6 Surely you need guidance to wage war, and victory is won through many advisers.

Saying 23

7 Wisdom is too high for fools; in the assembly at the gate they must not open their mouths.

Saying 24

8 Whoever plots evil will be known as a schemer.

9 The schemes of folly are sin, and people detest a mocker.

Saying 25

10 If you falter in a time of trouble, how small is your strength!

I love proverbs, it is full of wisdom and I really needed these sayings. It is better to have wisdom, than to have strength. I will seek Christ’s wisdom in everything I do.

And for those wondering, hubby has been doing his prayer and devotion every night since Monday! Praise God!