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  • Suffering and Sovereignty Part 2

    • 2 Comments
    A few posts back in my journal I posted about suffering and sovereignty. I recently started a study on the book of Job - It is called Suffering and Sovereignty. It is on First5.org and they have an app as well. As we all struggle with suffering, and at...
  • Suffering and Sovereignty

    • 4 Comments
    As we have been of the topic of suffering lately, first5.org is starting a study on suffering and sovereignty. Today is day 1 and I am sharing as it really spoke to me and adds to what Tim and many of you have shared as well. I pick him up tonight and...
  • Thought for the day

    • 5 Comments
    "I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born." says the Lord. Isaiah 66:9 (My bible version actually says it a little bit differently.) But the principle is the same. When we are going through the pain and suffering, sometimes...
  • Psalm 40 and knowing but not feeling

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    Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord ; may your love and faithfulness always protect me. 12 For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me...
  • The battling mind

    • 7 Comments
    To catch up from my last post, I picked him up for an uneventful ride home. We talked a little that night where I shared several things with him, praying not to say too much or for God to cover my mistakes if I was trying to take control. Some highlights...
  • The power of prayer

    • 4 Comments
    Thank you to everyone who lifted me up in prayer. Our God is an awesome God! He has come to comfort me in answer to prayer and petition. I am away from the pit today and will be picking my hubs up in about an hour and a half. He had texted me this morning...
  • When burdens are too heavy...

    • 13 Comments
    What do I do when I just don't believe good things are going to happen to me anymore? I know God promises good for those who believe. And I know that God keeps His promises - (insert proverbial but) but I just don't see that right now. I am fighting...
  • The struggle of Confidence in Prayer

    • 5 Comments
    Ok. I am struggling with this - confidence in prayer. In James he says: “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive...
  • The Tree, the crow and the dove

    • 9 Comments
    I have spent a lot of time on my deck through the seasons of his affair...spring, summer, fall, winter, spring again and now going into summer. There is a tree in my neighbors back yard that constantly holds my gaze. When the leaves are flittering on...
  • Letting go vs. letting love show?

    • 8 Comments
    In this place of trust and faith I am filled more during the day with peace and faith than with doubts...but they do creep in briefly before the Spirit takes control and removes them from me. I have given him so much space and don't really let what...
  • The God roller coaster

    • 8 Comments
    We have often talked about the roller coaster of emotions with our spouses, but looking back over the more than year and a half I have noticed the "other" roller coaster I have found myself on. It thankfully doesn't have the steep drops...
  • Thankful in a dangerous time

    • 5 Comments
    God works in ways that are higher than ours. I have seen this over and over again. Most recently He made it clear to me through events that I had to get out of the way to let Him work on my hubs. I kept getting in the way, trying to control in loving...
  • Feeling like a fledgling in faith but THANKFUL!

    • 8 Comments
    I did not file the extension and the case will be dismissed for lack of progress. Praise God! The girls and I went to Indy for the weekend to see family and my hubs. I had gotten a hotel room for a night for the 2 of us and he kept telling me he didn't...
  • A new hope...and a choice to make

    • 6 Comments
    God continues to be good to me even in my weakness. Yesterday, my hubs told me that he broke up with the OW. Well, he actually went on to say that she broke up with him - she leaves for Egypt tomorrow for 2 weeks. I feel different this time - before I...
  • His ways are Higher than our ways

    • 4 Comments
    He is still with the OW...driving to Indy with her as we speak but a lot has happened. Last week, he started texting with a new woman from Indy where he will be the next month. 3 hours nonstop. I called him that night to let him know I knew. Then when...
  • Fearfully in the cave...

    • 17 Comments
    Here I am...in the cave like David..fearful. Feeling unworthy, not enough and falling short in every way, and lacking faith. Oh how small a mustard seed, and yet how large it is to even try to have a small amount of faith. I am seeking though. First,...
  • Who's on first?

    • 3 Comments
    Hi friends...been a while. I have continued to be in a struggle. I have pretty much been still, but I have been asking myself who is on first? God? My husband? I have my morning quiet time and been talking to God all day long, but my thoughts are constantly...
  • What does trusting in the Lord mean...

    • 3 Comments
    Trusting in the Lord with all your heart. I have asked God to reveal to me what stands in the way of growing closer to Him and that is what He has revealed. I really believe that is why my struggle continues. My devotions often refer to the fact that...
  • Holding myself accountable

    • 10 Comments
    I have a confession... I cried last night...it had been an emotional couple of days between the 1 year mark of the passing of my hubs mum. Then the next day of my hubs birthday. I stayed still with my hubs and stayed positive but I broke last night in...
  • Honest with myself

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    Today is his birthday. Tomorrow morning I take him to the airport for his 12 day work trip and then I leave the day before he gets back for 7 days. I have mostly been at peace, but today I am not so much. It is hard when I truly value every day we have...
  • Keep Your Eyes On Me!...and the Ocean.

    • 4 Comments
    Sharing today's devotional from Jesus Calling, in hopes it brings peace to others as much as it has me today. "Keep your eyes on me! Waves of adversity are washing over you, and you feel tempted to give up. As your circumstances consume more...
  • Thankful

    • 8 Comments
    I thought it would be better to start a new post rather than continue on the last thread. I am so thankful for you all. Tim, I have listened and lay down in green pastures. Man was I "tired" and needing rest. I think I didn't know how wound...
  • Backsliding

    • 16 Comments
    I'm not sure what to really say today as I think I am more just expressing feelings here so I don't lose it at home. I am just so sad. I see a husband that cannot give the OW up - yes, they are still talking every day. I see a husband that does...
  • Mixed Blessings

    • 7 Comments
    Well, I kind of lost it when he told me Thursday that his flight was Tuesday not Monday. We texted back and forth and a quick call - not good conversation. Friday went by and in the evening I was checking my email and he emailed me "Changed flight...
  • Mountains and meeting Him there

    • 3 Comments
    What if the mountains in front of us where placed there for us to show someone else they can be moved? I came across this simple statement this morning and it has had me thinking. What if they are...we all know God uses us, other people in our life, for...
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