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The Tree, the crow and the dove

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I have spent a lot of time on my deck through the seasons of his affair...spring, summer, fall, winter, spring again and now going into summer.  There is a tree in my neighbors back yard that constantly holds my gaze.  When the leaves are flittering on this tree, but not necessarily the others as it is a bit taller, I imagine it is God whispering to me and showing me He is near.  (The movie Phenomenon with John Travolta has a reference to this but I can't recall it).  Through fall and winter as the leaves came off there was one branch that the dried leaves clung to.  We had some pretty good winds but they never came off.  I don't know whether God impressed upon me that when the leaves finally came off this branch their affair would be over, or if I had made it a request to God.  Anyway, those leaves hung on until spring and finally came off around late February or early March when they had broken up for like the 4th or 5th time.  I felt like it was really the end for them, but as they got back together again I wondered if I had missed something and it was the end for us.  That thought didn't stay long thankfully.  The tree now has leaves on nearly all the branches - except for "my" branch which remains "dead".  I do believe that it really does represent the end of their relationship, but that it is not going to be a done in one deal - it is going to be a slow withdrawl maybe.

There has also been this large black crow that comes and perches at the top of this tree throughout all the seasons.  He is pretty noisy, and while I tell him he is beautiful, I ask him to go away as I feel he is mocking me and my stand...trying to sow seeds of doubt and defeat.  I have seen less and less of him over the past several weeks and when I do, he lands and then flys away pretty quickly after that.  He also is much quieter, not cawing like he used to.

I was out on the deck yesterday and thoughts of my hubs creeped in...I can't recall exactly what they even were as they were removed just as quickly as they came...probably something like he was enjoying his week with her and will continue to choose being with her.  Then a large dove came and flew up on the branch right below my branch.  I have not seen this dove throughout all the seasons I have been sitting out on my deck.  He stayed for sometime as I sat and watched him.  I got up and moved to see him better to confirm it was a dove and not a pigeon.  It was a dove.  My dove of peace that God sent me yesterday and I believe He was again telling me that to have faith in my peace and trust.  That He is at work in this situation.

The return of my hubs from any of his trips makes me somewhat emotional for many reasons - I feel like I don't know him anymore, the rejection of his return and not being missed, his shutting down anytime I try to talk about something other than the house and kids when he is open to hearing and talking to her about them, many things.I have had a good week with Jesus this week, and this time I have had He has blessed me even though I sent my hubs away to be with her.

May we all be open the the blessings God has for us today, and not miss them because we are looking away from His Presence to what we miss and cannot control.  May His peace cover each of you today.

  • I forgot to mention that my girlfriend gave me a book for my birthday a couple weeks ago.  It is "I'll be Praying for you" and included a little wooden stone that has a dove on one side and the phrase "Pray continually" on the other.  I pray with it in my hand and it is in my pocket always to remind me to pray continually and continually seek His Presence.

  • Wow PAR. I have missed your journals and knowledge.  I have been away trying to find my peace and joy in God.  I have thought about you all often.  I was hoping to check in and see some restorations.  

  • This brought tears to my eyes, Par.  I do believe God uses His creation to speak to us from time to time if for no other words than to speak peace over our troubled hearts!  I love watching the trees move in the wind and I have imagined them speaking praises to their creator.  It is almost like they are whispering, isn't it?  And  now when I hear and see them I will think of your thoughts that they are actually God  whispering to me to trust Him!  Thank you so much for this beautiful visual!  I am a visual person, so this spoke to my heart in a great way!

  • Formyfamily - I have missed your posts as well.  And, as Lynn once posted about what is a success story, I have come to believe that the restoration has to happen in us first with our walk with Jesus before any reconciliation happens.  I don't know why I fight so hard, resist some of the lessons and letting go, and it takes longer than all of us want...but I can say right now as I am really starting to feel restoration in myself that the pain feels more distant and time less relevant  - and so worth what I have been through!  Be patient and know that part of restoration is the fire you walk through...no way around it though we try...only through it!

    Linda-yes!  I also see the trees, birds, grass waving, etc. as singing praises to our Creator.  It is awesome when we can be part of that heavenly song!

  • There was a tree at the last stop sign before I got to work.  It is the only tree around.  It was very large and grew nicely, round and strong looking.  Even before this trial, I had a major trial at work.  That tree brought me some peace.  In the winters, with the leaves gone, I thought of how it is not dead although it looks to be so.  But God will bring it to life this spring.  And the same with the work fiasco.  My career may feel dead, but will be fixed through God.  and it was, better than before.

    And then the marriage trial.  And the same promise form God that there is always hope, no matter what comes of her choice in the marriage, I will be restored like the tree each spring.  

    I remember once praying for an answer if I should do something.  And I asked God to let me see a red wing black bird on a sign on the edge of the highway beofre getting to the next town 20 minutes a way.  And just within minutes of hitting the town, I saw what I thought was a red wing black bird on a bill board.  As I was about to pass the sign, the bird flew up in a small circle and landed back on the sign.  While in the quick flight, I clearly could see the red in it's wings.  I believe God had that bird take that brief flight back to show me.  

    Another time, I asked to see a fish jump in a river that I never see fish jump in.  I asked God to make it within 7 minutes.  I looked up at the river maybe every 30 to 90 seconds while I was doing some work.  And about 6 minutes and 40 seconds, a fish jumped.  My prayer was answered.  

    When my dad was dying, I took my mom to the hospital.  She had been praying to see deer to be a sign all would be ok.  On the way we saw 3 or 4 groups of deer lining the road on the way.  It was the way they looked at us too, like they were giving us the impression, We have been expecting you to pass by.  

  • I think the bible says not to ask for signs at times.  But maybe God knew how week my faith was then and why he allowed these things to happen.  

    so, your tree and bird story did hit home.  

    Peace.

  • Yes, I agree...I try not to ask for signs but I think God sends them at certain moments of His choosing as a glimpse to remind us of all He is doing in our circumstances that we cannot see! Opening our hearts further to hope.

    Peace.

  • I didn't mean you were asking for signs.  I don't think you were.   But I in the past definitely did.  

  • I thought about you today Par as I was driving home from the pharmacy.  I drive over a bridge that has tall bushes and small trees right up to the railings.  As I followed another car across, the branches of bushes and trees seemed to lean over the road as if cheering me on.  Well, that was the thought that went through my head anyway.  They looked like a crowd cheering a runner to the finish line.  I've had a tough few days of late and really struggling with some depression and just plain tired of the onslaught of thoughts the enemy keeps bombarding me with.  The past couple of days I've really tried digging back in during my quiet times, but seems all I do is cry, but I feel peaceful after the crying spell.  I felt encouraged as I drove by those bushes and trees and imagined it was heaven cheering me on.  Funny the things that give us peace, right?  God is just good, period.

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