Collaborate without boundaries

Love Always Protects - R2D23

  • Comments 2

Today's dare was to remove anything turning your heart away from your spouse. I don't have many outside influences that are doing this, but I do have some inner ones. I've been feeling a lot of fear about where our relationship is going. I trust God's plan, I guess it's a fear that I won't like His plan. I want His plan to be my plan, and in what I feel is a reasonable timeline. But I'm fearful that things will take longer than I want them too. I am working on releasing any negative feelings towards my husband to God. This is a daily battle for me right now.

Today has been a very rough day. His paycheck wasn't deposited today, but it should have been. I'm trying to believe the best, maybe it's because of the holidays or something. But if he doesn't deposit his check there is no way for me to pay all of the bills on my own. And he has spent most of our savings in the past few months. I know he's angry with me because I requested conciliation counseling. And he also feels like he has been paying all of the bills (which isn't true). Anyway, the finances are incredibly stressful, but I believe that DH may need to hit rock bottom before he is ready to turn to God. It's just difficult to be part of that rock bottom.

  • Many of the things you mention in this entry are answered well in Sean's journal, you can find it I believe by seaching schumura.  Don't have to read them all at once, but start with the oldest and work your way up to the newest.  I think you will get some clarity and peace in reading his journals.  

    Let him hit rock bottom, and when he does, let him look up and see you shining God's light.  You probably are the only light of Christ in his life right now.  

  • You feel exactly like many of us do I think. It's hard to let go and give God full control. We want so desperately for our wants to be God's will. I firmly believe God's will would never include divorce but since we all have free will that can put a lot of doubt in our minds.

    Rock bottom is a reality though. I can attest to that. Last year I was so depressed that I put a gun in my mouth. I couldn't go through with it though and with the help of a big support system I came out of it and I feel like I am a great champion for God now. I read my Bible so much that I've learned more in the last eight months than in the first 40 years of my life. Your husband will hit rock bottom and then it will be his choice how to come out of it. You can only be there to support him. You need to be prepared.

    We can not even begin to comprehend how God perceives time. All we can do is live one day at a time and trust in Him.

    "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day"

    2 Peter 3:8

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