Collaborate without boundaries

Love Cherishes

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I realized earlier today that my husband must have taken our vacuum the last time he was here. I only use it about once a month, mostly for deep cleaning the couches to get rid of all of the dirt and hair that my dogs track onto it. We have a roomba, so I don't need it for the floors.

Anyway, I wanted to do some deep cleaning, so I asked him if he wanted to drop it off, or if he wanted me to buy a new one. After I didn't hear from him for a couple of hours, I ended up asking a friend if I could borrow hers. I didn't want to make any assumptions. I didn't hear from him until 8 hours later. 

DH: Are you doing anything to make anymore income? 

Me: What does my income need to be? 

DH: Enough to help pay for bills

Me: I have been helping. I deposited $1500 in November.

DH: Well when you want to just go out and buy a vacuum instead of just using a broom and roomba, it's going to need to be more then that.

Me: Oh, I ended up just borrowing one from my friend.

It took so much effort for me not engage in his attack. I know he is angry, but I don't understand why he is directing his anger with finances at me. He has been spending irresponsibly for months now, and it's finally catching up with him. I am making a point not to attack him for his mistakes. I believe that God is working on convicting him, and that is what I'm seeing. I continue to pray that God will give me the strength and wisdom to show my husband God's love.

Today's dare was difficult, because I'm not aware of my husbands needs. I do know that he is stressed about finances though. I had to do some yard work today, and choose to find ways to make the changes with things I already had rather than going out and buying something. I may still need to buy one or two things in the future, but for now things will work fine. 


  • Biting your tongue may hurt in these types of moments, but only temporarily.  but letting your heart lead you and speak words you can not bring back can hurt much longer.  

    It was good you showed unity and chose to not go and buy one when he didn't answer.  

    It's kind of funny. For those couple hours he waited to respond, he let himself get all worked up instead of doing the easy thing and show some kindness.  Yes, it's not enjoyable to hear the anger, but, it gives way to opening the door a little more for Christ to work in him.  

  • And the sacrifice you made for your husband by biting your tongue give more potential for God's will to be done in his life.

  • He will justify in his mind every way he can that he is okay spending money like he is. By saying or thinking, it's your fault for not making more, its his turn to spend and enjoy life, he makes more money so he can do with it as he pleases.  Who knows how but he is justifying to himself why he can spend what he shouldn't.  

    Let his words drop at the foot of the cross before they make a stop with you.  

  • So many things happening here. You showed amazing humility not engaging in an argument over the vacuum. So much strength not responding to the financial accusations. Borrowing instead of going out and spending.

    He was cruel, accusatory, thoughtless and prideful. His mind has to be processing all of this. Someday he will understand, especially if you maintain your Christ-like composure.

    "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."

    Proverbs 16:18

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