Collaborate without boundaries

Love Makes Good Impressions

  • Comments 4

I don't have the opportunity to greet my husband, and for the first time, I'm not even sure how I should. Normally, I would have at least given him a hug, but I don't think he would be receptive to this anymore. I can see two possible opportunities that I may have in the relatively near future for greeting him. Since he is looking at realtors, it is possible that he may bring one over to the house. I also filed for conciliation court, so that will be coming up sometime soon. I think the most I can do as far as a greeting is smile, and maybe ask how he is doing. 

I am just making him angry left and right lately. Yesterday, he found out that I filed a petition for conciliation. Then he actually called me! He hasn't called me in MONTHS. We didn't actually talk on the phone though. When I saw he was calling, I took a couple of deep breaths before answering. After about 3 or 4 rings, he hung up. Then he sent me a text instead. I'm glad I didn't answer immediately because he was very accusatory, and I'm not sure how I would have handled that phone conversation. 

His message: You filed a petition for conciliation? You know we are not getting back together right? And you're just dragging all this out?

He also let me know that he tried to make everything go quickly so I would be hurt less, and made sure that I got more than half of everything. He also said he made sure that I didn't have to pay for half of the house and half of all of the expenses. 

I choose to thank him for sharing how he was feeling, rather than engage in the conversation with him. Now that I've had some time to think and pray about it, and he's had a little bit of time to cool off, I may let him know that I appreciate everything he's done. And that I'm not trying to drag this out. I just don't think that our marriage is irretrievably broken.

I feel terribly for making him so angry. I am praying that God will use his anger to open up the lines of communication between us. I know that God can use anything to repair our marriage. My goal is not to make my husband angry, but to fight for our marriage. The consequences of fighting can be so ugly sometimes, and I hope they don't get much uglier.

  • I support you 100%, and admire you for taking the high road. I will be praying for you!

  • You did not make him angry.  He did that all by himself, plus probably Christ's conviction of you showing kindness instead of acting worldly during this trial added to his frustration.  

    Our spouses, yours included, will strike at us and make us often times look at ourselves as if we can not do anything quite right because we walk wrong or chew gum  wrong and they get mad. and we become  conditioned to feel like we cause the anger and we are blocking all avenues in reconciliation.

    Let  his anger go to the foot of the cross for Jesus to handle.  And  while you're  there dropping off his  load of  anger, pick up a  load of  Jesus's peace for you to keep.  

    Our spouses can show anger one moment, then the next not even realize what they did. If they are so messed up in their thinking, do not  put stock in anything negative he says.

  • Look to God  first for comfort in this, not him.  Seek His peace and comfort will come.  What's bigger, God or his anger?  Put your faith in which one is bigger.  

  • In our spouses current state of mind everything makes them angry, but it's not you, it's them. They choose to be angry. My wife gets angry at every little thing I do and also says there's no way we are staying married. That may be true but that doesn't mean it's over. God is in complete control and someday our spouses will also realize that. Hopefully it's not on the day of judgement and they've sunk even further into sin. All we can do is obey the commandments of Jesus and wait for our crown and pray while we are here that our spouses will accept what God is saying to them.

    The article that someone put on here a few weeks ago said to delay the d. Statistics show that the longer the d is delayed the better the chance of reconciliation. And statistics don't lie.

    Don't feel terrible for following God. I feel terrible for my wife because she doesn't understand God's love.

    "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins."

    1 Peter 4:8

Page 1 of 1 (4 items)