Collaborate without boundaries

So hard not to be selfish about this

  • Comments 6

I made my lists this morning.... Now I'm waiting to text him later thanking him for the characteristic... I am overthinking everything in my head as to what I should say.... And I keep wanting to make it in reference to me. Like I love the way you cuddle with me, or you comfort me, or you touch me..... I am trying to give him a compliment that is not what he does for me.... but of who he is. I keep wanting to make the love dare about how I feel, my expectations, all of who he is and what he does in reference to me... And I realized I have made this entire relationship about me. Not that he doesn't have his faults. But that I always saw things through my own lens, and how everything related to me. I thank God for this experience that shows me how I can be a better person and friend, not just better in a relationship.

  • I texted him. It went to text message instead of iMessage. So either he is off having an adventure out of cell phone reception (which he loves doing and is what I told him I loved about him is his adventuresome spirit) or he blocked me. I'm trying to believe the best and that he just is off having fun and thinking about the relationship like he said he needed time & space to do.  So hard to not give in to my anxious thoughts.

  • Welcome. This will be a journey, one between you and Christ, not you and him.  He will be used as a tool to mold you.  Do a dare a day, no more no less.  Do not manipulate the dares to make them easier, such as texting him.  First in person, if not able do it by calling.  Have no expectations of him while doing the dares, and things may get worse before getting better, but this will serve purpose.  

  • do not read ahead in the book, except for the appendix, especially about leading the heart.

    If you are not married, remember, there's a dare or two that should only be done between married couples.  

    you see how you are thinking as the world teaches, about being selfish.  Keep doing the dares and you will continue to be molded in this fashion.

  • He has asked for time & space so I believed that texts were the best way to do this. We don't live together so I would be invading his space if I go see him. I will try to call him the next time I need to do a dare. Other than that I am leaving him alone as he has asked me to do.

  • Definitely only do one dare a day and dont try to manipulate the dares.  I found myself more than once making the dares about me and what I wanted and how I feel.  After you get to a certain point in the dares you will realize how much God is in control of all this.  This site is definitely a good place to vent and get positive feedback.  Welcome

  • I was very selfless in the marriage.  Tried to give her everything I could.  The one thing I didn't give was the Love in a way she wanted.  She needed Words of Affirmation.  I take and give compliments poorly.  I need touch and hugs to show love.  I did this with her but realized too late I wasn't speaking her Love Language.

    It took one guy who refused to give up when she told him she was married to use her love language against her.  She plotted with him to leave me...  Of course he was using her to get what he wanted and dumped her.  The ex boyfriend also spoke her love language but his motives were the same.  He wasn't a true friend with her best interests at heart.  He wanted her.  He got her.  She dumped him eventually.

    By this time out reconciliation was poisoned by him and her friends and her therapist.  What lies must have been said about me.  

    I was not perfect but by no means the monster she made me out to be.

    As you go through the dares, you will learn not to be selfish.  My wife is being selfish, the world's way.  I have learned not to be.  It is a battle of the flesh and the spirit, but it gets easier.  Stay the path, keep doing the dares, and pray, pray, pray.

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