Collaborate without boundaries


  • Comments 5

Well I am on dare 32 and while I would love to make this happen, we are just not there.  With the way things are going I'm not sure we will ever be able to get there.  She is filing this week.  She is completely separating herself from me.  The latest was taking my name off of credit cards, etc that are in  her name.  I continue to do the dares but even last night she reassured me there is nothing to change because there is nothing going to change with her.  She leaves this weekend for a trip I bought her for her birthday.  I really want her to enjoy herself and have no expectations of anything changing.  Now my hope has these huge expectations but I need to change my hope from her to hope in God.  I am looking for anything small to make me feel even a tiny bit better but have yet to see it.  I really believe she is set in her ways.  We are both very stubborn and once we get something in our minds, it stays.  My love for her now is so much more and pure than when I started this book and so much much more than we started down this path.  Heck, so much much much more than when we got married.  It's tough cause I want to point that out and help her understand and see it but I know I can't.  It's in God's hands and it's going to be my actions and just have faith in the Lord that he is working on her.  I don't know why it is and if I'm crazy but deep down inside my hope for this working out is so so so strong.  Not sure if that's real, if that's crazy talk or if that's the Lord talking to me.  I just don't know.  Maybe this weekend is what is going to break or make it for us...That was never my intent for this trip but then again I'm not in control...God is.

  • If at all possible, still attempt dare 32.  She may reject you hard, but if she does, that opens the door more fully for God to work in her.

    She may file this week.  But, what she says is not always what she will do.  Sometimes our spouses get so frustrated trying to set things up that it just never happens, or even if a meeting with the lawyer is set up, it's been known for cars to break down, etc for the meeting to be cancelled.  One person had her husband's meetings with the lawyer delayed 3 times for odd things that came up out of the blue, or if you do not believe in coindidences through God.

  • I friend who chose not to do the dares had his wife take him off of things, like separate car insurance, etc.  And yet they are still married and it's been a couple years.  

    Do not put thought in these steps she's taking. When you put thought into things like the credit cards it's like you begin to have hope or belief that these things are going to determine the outcome over God's actions in her and you.

  • The trip may bring forth changes.  It may be that she has it on her mind all the while on the trip it was a gift from you, and that may provoke all kinds of thoughts God can use to work in her.  Who knows other than God?  

    I would suggest not praying for her to enjoy the trip.  Because when we are having a good time we do not come to God and His will.  But if she has a good time then God can use that to in that she's grateful that you gave her the gift.  

  • As you are in the last quarter of the dares, you have seen how they have molded you.  Choose now to do a second round.  Most everyone says round two is different from round one.

    What she says can and does can be heavily influenced by Christ.   Keep trusting Him.  

  • I could write this exact same paragraph about my situation. I know exactly how you feel. My wife and I are both fiercely stubborn too. I wish I had been as stubborn about my faith before this as I am now and maybe we would have never gotten to where we are. My wife has filed and has separated our names as much as possible. I noticed the other day that she even started a new gmail account using her maiden name.

    What I can tell you is what I know. 21% of people who get a d end up remarrying each other. That gives us a one in five chance of ending up together right there. I have also read that, according to studies, half of people who get a d regret it. What gives us an even greater advantage is we have God on our side. My hope is every bit as strong as yours even though everyone around me tells me I am crazy. Sometimes I even tell myself from a worldly perspective that I am crazy. I absolutely refuse to give up that hope though because with God all things are possible. Don't ever give up.

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