Collaborate without boundaries

Day 9 - Good Impression?

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After another discouraging day yesterday, I woke up early again.  I headed to my office area and begin typing up some things.  I started by typing a prayer specifically for my wife.  I wanted it to be something edifying and sincere.  I want to read this daily.  I typed about a page of prayer and printed a couple of copies.  I also created some “reminders” to put on my wall of hope. (yes, I have scriptures that I tape on the wall of my bedroom.  They are daily reminders to keep me encouraged and focused)  So I printed a few more sayings such as “trust God”, “Repent. Forgive. Love” and about 3-4 more.  When I wife finally woke up, I greeted her with enthusiasm.  “good morning, [name].” I got a I’m-only-replying-out-of courtesy good morning.  I then said “ I appreciate you and thank God for you”.  I asked, “can I pray for you”.  She said no.  I said ok, then can I give this to you” and handed her the prayer I typed up.  She read it all the way through.  I also asked for forgiveness for actions on the previous day.  I then proceeded to the kitchen and decided to make her a small breakfast.  I made some toast and eggs, but I kinda burnt some of the eggs (eyeroll).  It was ready and ate all the should could.  I felt good for doing the right thing and being obedient, even though I didn’t get a thank you and that is ok.

The rest of the day was a little emotional.  I kept thinking of my wife and watched a few videos on my phone of her laughing, dancing, etc.  I was missing her terribly!!!  I cried several times that day.  I had a hard time keeping it together!  I called/texted some friends and they gave me encouragement.  I eventually got myself together.  I made an appointment to see a Christian counselor beginning next week.  I still have this divorce court hearing in about a month and I still gotta make it through the holidays.  I don’t want to feel pressured, but to remain calm and trust God.

When I got home, my wife was there.  She left some food to unthaw that morning, so I knew she was supposed to be home.  I started reading a book (I’ll share later) waited for about an hour and sent her a text asking if she was ok.  She said yes and soon after pulled in the garage.  I wanted to let her know I was concerned.  Not to earn some brownie points to really show her unconditional love.  I then went to the store to get some small things.  I decided to buy her a card that said I was thinking about her.  I prayed and thought it about it all day and even prayed more in the store.  I went for it.  I wrote “I thought about you a lot today and missed you that much more.  I love you”.  I sealed it and gave it to her and walked away.  She hasn’t said anything about it and probably wont, but I felt I did the right thing and followed the Spirit.  I at least know she read it and hasn’t thrown it away.

So I shared a link to an article earlier this week titled “how to save you marriage alone”.  There is actually a small, short book that you can purchase that has more details.  I started reading it yesterday and I LOVE IT.  Good info, biblically based and encouraging.  I highly recommend it.The book is about $4 on Amazon.  Here is the link

Day completed!

  • These days can be brutal on your emotions.  And affect you in the flesh as well.  Especually with knowing a month can go by quickly before...., and knowing it is the season of Christmas then New Years.  But that  is also the good in this.  You can bare fruit even in the difficulty of it all, during what the world would say is the toughest time of year to go through a trial like this.

    But, if you place God way above her and the  marriage, and seek Him in prayer, reading, etc. you can have great peace now.  and if you do this, the holiday season can help increase your endurance in Christ even more so.

    Thanks for  the link.  The article was good.  

    Be cautious of over doing things and going above what the dare entails.  sometimes when the end reels so close we tend to want to speed up the potential of bringing our spouse back and tend to take control form Christ doing His work.  

  • Sounds a lot like my situation. I'm seven months in and just got d papers a couple days ago. I can tell you that things like giving her the prayer probably don't work. My wife sees that as me trying to manipulate and control her. Making breakfast, on the other hand, is showing love. It's an act of kindness with no other motive than love.

    Just pray for her- and pray hard. Get serious. Don't ask her. She's probably going to say things like "No" to you to try to get you riled up so you make a mistake. Don't put yourself in that situation.

    I've been thinking about starting a "War Room." Like from the movie. If you haven't seen it I suggest watching it. The power of prayer is amazing. I like that you post scripture of like that.

    I have a d hearing in a month too. It stinks but do whatever you can to delay. I've read a lot about delaying a d can give the other person time to think and reconsider but you have to show through your actions that you are ready to be a biblical husband.

    That article on How to Save Your Marriage Alone is amazing. I printed it, highlighted a bunch of it and read through it every day. It gives me a lot of hope.

    Try to stick to only doing the dares, unless the Holy Spirit is really talking to you. My wife has complained a lot after she thinks I have overdone something like print an article for her of give her a card. Just this morning I wrote a little note to her and was about to put it in her coat pocket before I left for work but I decided not to at the last minute because it wasn't a dare and it was something I wanted to do not what the Holy Spirit led me to do.

    "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."

    Ephesians 5: 25-28

  • I also wrote up a prayer that I say for my husband every day. One of the biggest things that I added to my prayer recently, after a suggestion by my counselor, was to release him to God. Specifically, I say that I release him to God, because He is the only one who can heal my husband and change his heart. Praying this way has been very helpful, because I put everything into God's hands.

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