Collaborate without boundaries

Day 2 - Opposition

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I had a good start to my day.  My plan for today was to clean the master bathroom.  She likes when I help around the house, so I thought this would be a good gesture.  After about an hour at work, a strange man walks in my office and asks "Are you NDG?"  I say "Yes, did I win the lottery?"  He says sorry and hands me a stack of papers - DIVORCE PAPERS!  I was distraught and my heart dropped and tears began to flow.  Even after a month of not talking, no intimacy, not sleeping in the same bed, I thought the tension in the house had subsided some and that I was in a place to begin trying to save my marriage.  Yes, I knew she wanted to separate and divorce, but I thought I had time to try to save my marriage.  My marriage is now over, all hope is lost and I have a Civil Court date in a little over a month to have a judge finalize her request.  I'm broken!

The entire day was lost. I spent my time a work in pain.  I thought if I talked to my wife that day, that I could reason with her.  We talked, she doesn’t love me and is “done.”  She says it’s too late.  I don’t feel she is following God’s will.  She is quitting on me!  I even said something negative during our convo.  I’ve already messed up the dare for the day. Again…BROKEN!

That evening, I decided to still clean the bathroom even though most of me was thinking that it is pointless.  I’m thinking that even if I continue to do the Love Dare, she will think I’m just reacting out of desperation because of the court summons.  I’m thinking I can’t win her back and I should quit.  A much smaller part of me has hope.  I sought some wise counsel from Godly men and women.  They’ve encouraged me to keep trying, but more importantly seek God with all my being.  I laid in bed in turmoil then I began pulling books out of my library on prayer, marriage, hope.  I searched the internet for anything that would give me hope that I’m doing the right thing and that GOD wanted me to not quit.  I found several resources that gave me just that – HOPE.  I began praying for my wife, asking God to help me love her the way that He loves her even if it’s not reciprocated.  I want my wife and marriage to thrive.  I have no plan B if this doesn’t work out.  I have to put all my faith that God will reconcile, replenish my marriage and love for one another even if it looks pretty impossible. 

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  • Keep your eyes on Christ. He is the author and finisher of our faith. As you do the dares, have no expectations from your wife. The world sees divorce as papers. I see your marriage as a covenant with God. I hold onto the scripture, "What God hath joined together, let no man separate". Keep doing the dares on day at a time. I encourage you to stay on here for encouragement. Everyone on this site seems to have good hearts and are willing to listen and offer support. Hang in there. I am praying for you to have your HOPE in Christ.

  • God is never late.  and it may at times feel all is lost, but you have weeks before it is finalized.  And God just needs, well really, no time at all to heal things.  Yet, she has free will and God will not take that from her.  Pray she has God's will done in her life.  

    You may feel desperate at times and want to fix the marriage.  But let God do the reconciling.  Through prayer and doing the dares you will leave the door more fully open for God to work in her.  

    She will see your changes but needs time to believe the changes are real.

    What you must do is be consistent in your actions and behavior in doing what the dares teach.  You may mess up, but do not let that alarm you.  

  • Contemplate putting God way above your wife and marriage, not loving your wife less, but holding God higher, and peace even this trial will come.  God promises when you come to Him He will give you rest.  His comfort is there for you.  Seek it and accept it.  He takes care of the sparrows when in the midst of winter their is no food.  How much more will He take care of you than a bird?  

    Trust that no matter what happens, His divine providence is there for you.  

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