Collaborate without boundaries

Day 1/Intro - Daring a Hardened Heart

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My story…

I’m a husband in my late 30s. I’ve been married once before and unfortunately did not work out. I fell into depression and began looking towards random women for validation that I was a “real man”.  When I met my current wife, I brought some of that needy attention from other women and started having emotional affairs.  We wife found out, but decided to try to work through it.  Unfortunately, those emotional affairs continued for the first 2-3 years of our marriage.  Finally, I gave it to God and asked for forgiveness from Him, my wife, and even of myself.  I thought things were getting better, but trust had to be rebuilt and respect had to be re-earned.  We both were pretty unhappy about how our marriage was, although I never really voiced my unhappiness in hopes I could sacrifice my happiness (I could always find it later) for hers.  Our unhappiness led to heated arguments over petty things.  After 5 years of marriage, and her trying to communicate how troubled our marriage is, she has finally given up, her heart is COMPLETELY HARDENED and wants to separate/divorce.  She says there is NO change of reconciliation and that she is doing whats best for her and the children. So now I’m in a mode of desperation.  I want my wife, my marriage and our family (blended family with 4 kids). I love God and really need a miracle to save my marriage.  So I decided to start the Love Dare.  Here is my journey…

Day 1

This one wasn’t very hard, because we haven’t really spoken to each other in a month and WE ARE IN THE SAME HOUSE!  So not having anything negative to say was pretty easy.  I’m actually pretty excited about tomorrow because of have plans to do a nice gesture that I think she’d appreciate!


  • I read the 3 days you e posted so far. Most if not all of us have been where you are now. For me, there are good days and bad days. Last week came a worse day. Even after doing the dares for my third time now, I don't give up. What you should think about is ignoring you are doing the dares for your wife, or for you. If you do them, no matter what happens, for you and your own growth, you'll have much better results though not always the way you might want. There will still be cold days and maybe some warm ones. Times will seem bad, get worse, get better. You have to take each dare, each day one at a time. Don't worry about yesterday, you can't change it, don't worry about tomorrow, it hasn't happened yet. Just worry about what you are doing now and keep your resolve for you own personal growth.

  • @Eaker995 -   Thank you!  I really appreciate the encouragement.  It is much needed.  I really try to not focus on the past or future, but it is difficult.  Things feel very similar to me in the failure of my previous marriage.  It's a daily mental and spiritual battle.  I hope increase my faith as you have.  I will continually pray for you and your spouse to walk as one in the joy of the Lord!

  • Welcome.  This will be a journey, one between you and Christ, not you and your wife.  She will be used as a tool to mold you.  do a dare a day, no more, no less.  Do not read ahead in the book, like the next day's dare, other than the appendix, especially about leading the heart.  Have no expectations of her when you do the dares.  In fact, it may get worse before it gets better, but do not worry about that if it happens, it will serve purpose.

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