so the other day Angel came to get the baby. When he got here she was sleeping. So he asked me to lay down with him. So i did. I just stroked his hair and he fell asleep and then i fell asleep. it was so nice. We talked later that night. the next day we talked for a bit and i said i would call him when i got off of work. instead i called his mom cause i needed guidance. he texted me several times but i didn't answer and when i finally did he stopped. Felt like he got upset, but maybe he just went to sleep. i don't know. Today he texted me good morning. Usually it's me doing it to him and he takes hrs to answer. Today he did it first. I was shocked. I texted good morning back and i didn't hear from him the rest of the day. So i went to clean the old apartment. I cried again. Then went to the store. When i went to the store i got him some chocolate cupcakes and roses. I left them with the babies things he was going to pick uip later. I then left him a note that said maybe we can do dinner soon? this weekend? when he got them he texted me but didn't answer about the note. so i asked and he said he was playing card with his friends. i said maybe you can come by after and he said he was going to the bars with his friends. I told him i was just asking for a couple hours. It was like history repeating itself i swear. he used to do this before and then i would keep asking until he said yes. The thing was I just need him around as a friend. But he always chooses his guy friends over me. he said that he had planned this for weeks. Angel plans nothing!!! he said y not sunday. Well the thing was that i'm tired of sharing my time with him. If it was going to be sunday we would have the baby and there goes my time with him. I know that sounds selfish, but it's true. Eventually it got to the point where he said it forcefully that he would come over. At that point i said you really don't like to spend time with me. Do you realize the only time i see you is when you pick up the baby? and now that's going to be gone. "you don't make plans with anyone. But now you have plans. Either way i know you would have said no to me even if you had nothing going on. Thats just how you are with me lately. I'm sorry. i'm going through some emotional stuff and i needed a friend. I thought you might actually choose me and come through. He didnt reply. Thats the thing about angel. his guy friends mean more to him than anything else. I'm tired of being put on the back burner. i feel that i need to stop seeking him and asking for him. I need to stop texting and calling and trying to be in his life. He's not trying to be in mine or trying to include me in his. I'm very irritated and hurt right now. Angel is literally my best friend, but i am not his. I feel like i need to let go.