I know this is tough...and may even be tougher to hear...believe me BEEN THERE, however, it has to be said - you have got to get out of God's way of doing His work on you and Angel. You need to just focus on each day's dare and that is it. I see a lot of manipulation (I mean that in the nicest way possible) going on. You know why I am seeing it because I did those exact same things - texting/calling/questioning/pleading/etc and they got me no where, but further from where I knew God wanted me to be. You said it yourself - you need to stop seeking him and asking for him - NOT necessarily because "he's not trying to be in your life or trying to include you in his" - that should not matter right now - you need to stop seeking him and asking for him because it should be Christ you are SOLELY seeking and asking for. Remember, this is a journey between you and Him not you and Angel. Pray for a shift of focus, let the control go, and let God use YOU how He needs to. You will be AMAZED at what He can do if you just let Him. I know you can do it! You've come so far already!
I want you to think about something.... And I am sure you will recognize the selfishness in yourself. Yes angel is selfish. But you are justifying yours through his.
Go back and read you post more than once. Try to have an open mind. But here is the kicker. Read it as Christ is posting it and put your name where angels is!
That is what this journey is about. Your relationship with Christ
yes i understand what you are both saying. I know this is a journey with me and Christ, but i'm sure you can understand where i'm coming from. I know i am being selfish, but thats human nature. I'm not justifying anything, i'm just venting. I'm tired of hurting. Tired of feeling like nothing to the person who say they love me. That's what i'm saying. I'm still working on me. This is hard when you are giving it all. but i know in time i will be where you are. Jenn btw you have shed light on something that has been tugging on me for sometime. Thank you...
You can prepare yourself by softening your heart...God will do the work. (Read your comments).