Thank you for sharing this. There are some truly deep emotions you battled through. What I've been learning through this dare and various meetings and bible studies that I'm doing is that we have to learn to forgive ourselves as much as we need to know that Christ has forgiven us. We're all going to slip up from time to time...the difference now should be that we recognize those mistakes, we apologize (and/or repent) and we hopefully learn from it. I don't believe in forgive and forget but I do believe in forgive and press on.
One of the other lovely women who shares her journey on here with us, JennMarie, shared this song the other day. I hope it can give you some comfort. www.youtube.com/watch
We're all going to have our good and our bad days but now we know who to turn to. Not to our spouses. Or our children. Not our parents or our friends. We have to turn to God. There is nobody more dependable or trustworthy than Him. He can carry the weight of our burdens. He teaches us the true meaning of love and lifts us to new heights. I pray He'll hold you tightly in his warm embrace and comfort you in this hard time. Keep holding onto him Natalie. He'll soothe your wounds and help you stand against the storm.
The real question is this. After it was all over and you went to prayer. What did you learn from it? Were you able to see for yourself how out of control your life is without Christ? How controlling and doing things your way does not work? If so, then consider it a blessing. Some times Christ will put us into positions to expose the bad in us. That is all apart of molding us.
But remember this. Christ has forgiven us for all our wrongs. And we must do the same for others.
this took a lot out of me to write. Sometimes i read the posts on here or i talk to other Christians and i don't feel like i fit. Like i'm just a bad person all around with a bad attitude. I was so mad at myself. I haven;t been on here for awhile cause i just moved and didn't have itnernet. But i figured out to look on here at work. I am gonna be honest i haven't read my bible because i left it at my moms for almost 2 weeks just mindlessly forgetting it. But i have prayed and i have had daily conversations with God. I just got a new job. One prayer he answered. Another was about Angel. Right now that prayer is still working itself. he got a job offer out of state. We will see what happens in a few days with that. hopefully i can post something more soon. God bless...