From round one to now; is a big transformation because I see the difference in my husband and our relationship.

At first, I felt my husband needed his satisfication to be met.  I wouldn't provide because I didn't appreciate what he was doing to me with his hanging out with damsels .  I emphasized my hsband that communication is important in our marriage.  He kept going and focusing on damsel. I felt it was not right.

Of course, I was hurted and humiliated by the whole fiasco thing.  I never experienced that kind of emotional pain.  As time went, I looked inside my heart and advises on the website replies.  It made me think about the replies and my heart too.  

I have learned and fought for my own good.  At first I wouldn't dare to initiate sex with my husband because I was parazlaed by fear to be hurt!  As I realized and understood about walking with Christ and embraced by Him to comfort me.  As each dare came and went from him asking me when he needed to satisfy for himself to understanding the verse, 1 cor 7:3. However, I needed the hugs , snuggle, cuddle from him.  It was so hard cuz I learned not to have any expecta(ions so forth.  I had to give my needs to Christ.  I noticed as we started to comminicate, respect one another, enjoying our company too.  I noticed my husband no longer tell me to "stop it" (to leave him alone)

Now, I no longer feel fear of anything because I walk w Christ and knowing HE oves me so much and would do anything to protect me as long as I obey and abide in him! John 5:14

Praise God, yesterday, I told my husband that I got appointment for tomorrow for. Mri and cat scans. My husband said to me,"do you expect me to ocme with you?" I looked at him and said if you can? It would be nice! He said ok! I will cancel my over time! I was surprise, I didn't expect or plan ask him to come!  Praise god! I told God, thank you!! And sang few songs for Him! : )

yesterday afternoon, my husband texted me asking if it is ok to work overtime; his boss asked him to.  i informed him it is up to him to workover time meaning, he will not go with me to the scan appointments.  

last night, he came home from work, he told me that his boss asked him to due to some few issues that needs my hsuband's attention.  i told him it is okay.  i didnt agrue; whine or anything about it.  he said, he will try finish before  the appointment time.  i said ok!

a good friend of mine reminded me that my husband did offer and asked me if it was ok for him to work overe time instead he decided on his own.  i praised God that my husand did ask.  That counts!