Collaborate without boundaries

Day 26 - Swallowing My Pride

  • Comments 2

My little one and I have been battling the flu and my symptoms have only made me more miserable to be around. I hit the floor hard in prayer for this dare. My manager had keyed in a sick day and some PTO days for me so I had the rest of the week off. Our daughter was already at my parent's house so I was at the apartment scooping up clothes for the two of us and much needed items for when we would be spending the next couple of days over there. My SO had asked about our daughter and if I could make an appointment for her. I seized the opportunity since he had just gotten off of work and I just arrived at the apartment to see if he could drop off some things on the way to his parents house. As I was packing, I heard footsteps outside on the stairs and then a text appeared on my phone, "It's outside by the door." I called him as quickly as I could and, surprisingly, he answered. He told me he had already pulled out of the parking lot and on his way home. I knew it wasn't possible to pull out that quickly but I figured he did not want to have a face to face conversation at this time. I asked if there was something I could tell him on the phone and he gave the okay. I did not know where to start, I did not know how to begin apologizing to him. I had prayed about this moment and I had nothing to say. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and just started to apologize. I apologized for my selfishness, for being disrespectful, for always having to control every little thing and every decision, for undermining his authority, and so on. It was as if once I opened my mouth, everything just poured out. I knew from our past conversation that he still wasn't ready to forgive me but I brought it up anyways. He told me even though he planned to forgive, he was preparing himself for the next year to be a year without me in it. I told him that between now and then, a lot can change. He didn't have a reply. I said I was not going to give up, that I was going to keep fighting. Every time I'm able to have a conversation with him I make it a point to reassure him of this. I hope it sticks with him, I guess we'll wait and see. 

  • What you say isn't necessarily going to stick.  And what we say that is more than the dares is often times  what gets in their space and can push them away.  What will stick more than words is your testimony, shining Christ's light.  Do this by living in the dares the best you can.

  • It may make him more angry than anything. I know it did for my wife. The dares will tell you exactly what to say and do and when to say and do them. You don't have to do anything outside of them. The dares will also help you grow and become strong with Christ in your life. Your SO will see this eventually but the apologizing is going to seem more like whining right now. At least this is my experience with my wife. Nothing is going to change them until they are ready to change. Nothing we say will affect them at this point. They need to see what they are missing and Christ is the only One who can show them.

    "So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God."

    Ephesians 3: 17-19

Page 1 of 1 (2 items)