Collaborate without boundaries

Day 19 - Playing Catch Up Again...

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Fell behind again on the journal entries but not on the dares! When reflecting on this dare I realized quite a few things:

  • I had not given 100% to God
  • I still look at my SO's wrongdoings and selfish behavior instead of focusing on mine "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3
  • I still reflect on the things he has done in the past as new information is brought to light which hinders me from loving him "For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open" Luke 8:17

I felt it would be impossible to even get to the point where I am at now and even more impossible to perform many of the dares that consisted of me starting a conversation with him, telling him or asking him something, or, more recently, the dinner I had to do for him. I'm still half doing this for him and half doing it for God. I need to be rid of that mindset and just give it all to God. I've cut out almost all secular music and have my radio set to Christian or holiday music and at time I'll listen to morning radio shows. I've noticed a change in myself whenever I start the day off with worship music on. Anything uplifting will automatically have me in a better mood. I know now that I need to let go and let God take control. In my heart, I still love my SO but I want to fill my heart first loving and knowing God. 

  • Make sure the new information that is being exposed is not happening because you are snooping.  Why would these things hinder you from loving him?  Is your love for him that conditional?  Stop spending time with depreciating thoughts of him. Does God forgive and then focus on all your sins? If not, do the same for him.

  • Luke 8:17 is more of things not being hidden from God, not from us.    Look for verses that are for your life, not his.  

  • I don't think an of us can give 100% to God. We can try but we will fail. But trying is what He wants us to do. I love Matthew 7:3- I think about that verse immediately when I start pointing out the faults in others. I have completely given the past to God. I did struggle with that. I think one of my major turning points was Day 19.

    Up through Day 19 I feel like I was doing this to get my wife back. Since Day 19 and up to now (Day 34) I keep moving more and more toward God. My wife really doesn't play much of a factor now. I know what God desires from His Word but I can't make my wife obey Him so it does no good to think that I can. I DO desire my wife to join me on this journey but she plays no part in my salvation so I cannot change my life because of her. I hope that doesn't sound cruel but I love Jesus above all else and I will continue to live my life that way and I will always pray for my spouse even if she continues to follow the world.

    The more Christian influence you have in your life the better off you are. Music, friends, tv, movies, etc. Keep it up.

    "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

    Romans 12:2

  • tim - A lot of the new information is coming from mutual friends coming forward and also of me snooping. I know it's wrong, I need to stop. It's frustrating at times that I'm working through these dares and myself and yet he still blames me for all of the damage done to our relationship as if he had nothing to do with it. I really do need to get out of that mindset otherwise I'll never move forward, just don't know how

  • Eddie - Yes I definitely felt like everything was so that I could win him back and then I realized I was wrong. It's to get us to the point where God could win us back again. I find that the more Christian influences I surround myself with, the more progress I see in myself. It's amazing how little changes like that can make such a difference.

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