Collaborate without boundaries


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So, I was able to complete this on Friday night.  We went out to dinner with friends and on the way there I asked him.  The things that bothered him the most were not picking my clothes up out of the bathroom floor and not taking my dirty dishes straight to the kitchen when I'm done.  He also mentioned not changing the toilet paper out and not emptying the trash can.  

Please don't think I'm nasty.  I am always running late in the morning and pick my clothes up when I change for bed.  I just forget them in my rush.  I set my dishes down and make one trip to the kitchen.  It's not on his time frame so it drives him bonkers.  I do change the toilet paper roll but sometimes I put the new one on the shelf since there is still a little bit left and he doesn't see it.  And the trash, we just agree to disagree.  I think you can always get just a little more in the bag and it's full to him at 3/4 full.  He takes out the trash but I do allow the trash in my room to get almost to overflow before taking it out.  

So i'm making an effort to work on these things.  I did pick my clothes up this morning.  

I was sick all weekend so nothing happened past Friday night.  I slept probably 17 hours each day.  

I'm going to pick up with day 6 today.


The past 2 years have been rough.  I've been sick more than I've been well and he's kinda fallen into a caregiver role.  I do what I can when I can but some days getting out of bed alone exhausts me.  He's a good man and I am making an effort to do more.  I've already been to the doctor 7 times this year with another 2 appointments this week.  something has to give.

  • prayers for your sickness.  

    If you weren't sick or need extra sleep I would say wake up a few minutes earlier to have time to pick up your clothes in the morning vs at night.  

    As for the trash, I am with you as far as thinking why empty it until it is completely filled?  But, if it makes him happy emptying it when it's 3/4ths full then go by what he wants.  It doesn' t hurt you and  it puts a smile on his face, and it shows you are being united with him in this.

  • when there's a little left on the roll put that roll on the shelf and you use it up.  While he uses the new roll.  Putting the new roll up on the shelf is thoughtful of you, but if he just wont look for it, take your act of kindness a step further and put the old roll up where just you use it.  

  • As you make the changes he is mentioning and it becomes habit, so will other things that you maybe neglect now, and it will become habit as well to do these other simple tasks that really don't take any time at all.

    He may never notice what you do, but that's not what counts, being molded by the dares is.  And I am sure he will actually notice some of the things you do.  

  • My wife would leave her clothes on the floor also. I would just pick them up later and put them in the hamper. It never really bothered me BUT when she would put her dishes in the sink without rinsing them off it would send me off. Why do certain things bother certain people? Who knows? But these little things should never dictate a relationship. Since you know what bothers him now you can make an effort to change those things. On the other hand I'm sure there's things he does that bothers you. Maybe there's a gentle way to tell him you are working on what you need to and it would be awesome if he could too. Eliminate those little things and that's a huge step in the right direction.

    Praying four your health too.

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