Collaborate without boundaries

Day 46 Round Two ( Love Is Not Irritable)

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Today's Love Dare tells me to choose to start reacting to tough circumstances in my marriage with love instead of irritation. This came right on time because yesterday and the day before I was feeling aggravated with my husband because he is so distant towards me yet he talks to this other woman daily and is so happy when he talks to her. Its written all over his face when he's on the phone with her. Also, he is not really interacting with our children. He has been distant from them as well and our oldest boys are really starting to act out and are becoming disrespectful right in our own home and he has no clue what is going on because he is never home until they have gone to bed and when he is home when they're awake, he does not really interact with them. So I stopped talking to him as much I usually do, I didn't text or call him at all throughout the last 2 days, I didn't say goodnight or ask about his day when he came home from work. I just felt like being distant. I was beginning to feel very irritable with him. I prayed about it and I woke up today with the mindset of choosing to still love him and be patient and kind with him. Then after reading the Love Dare for today, it was confirmation of what I needed to do. So from today forward, I will react to this circumstances with love instead of irritation. I even felt the urge to send him a text simply saying "I love you." and I did. I knew he probably wouldn't reply or reply with something rude or negative And I was willing to accept it with love no matter what. To my surprise, he replied with "Love you too". As far as adding margin to my schedule, Iv'e decided to free up more time to talk with my kids daily, spend more time talking my husband and spending more time learning God's word. And as far as selfish motivation, Iv'e already let that go (which was beginning this Love Dare to fix my marriage only. I didn't care what made my husband happy or God for that matter. I only wanted to stop MY pain. I now walk a different path.) 

  • THat's great you see why we, not just you, come to this LD and now know it's for your walk with Christ.  That's a good feeling I am sure with his reply. Thank God for it and let God know you appreciate Him all the more.

    He will show he's having fun talking on the phone.  He will be animated, smiling, good natured, etc.  It's all for show, to show him he's having fun (where he really needs Christ's joy, not fun) and to show you he's in control and not letting his guard down.  

  • It's okay to be distant, in the way of doing only a dare a day and not sending extra texts or calls.  But do not feel distant.  That feeling leaves room for selfishness, unkindness, and impatience to creep in and take away from the testimony you're building for him to see.  It's good you chose to change that attitude of indifference and distance.  

  • Neglecting the kids is all part of the ritual our spouses seem to go through. In time, as he sees the new you is the permanent you, and that may take much longer than you hope, so stay patient with God's timing for your divine providence to manifest, he may choose to soften to you and the kids, and spend less talk time on the phone.

    The key is not him changing right now.  the key is you to continue not to follow your flesh and do as the world would say to do such as ignore him or give him the coldness and rudeness right back, but to love and forgive him unconditionally, just as Christ does for you.

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