This morning my friend that I have been trying to talk to text me and said we could meet at Starbucks later today or tomorrow. I was so relieved because I prayed that God would give her the time to talk to me. I was one of the first people in the sanctuary so I was sitting alone, no one around me. He is usually already in the sound booth behind me or up at the stage. He wasn't at either. When he walked in he had to walk all the way down the aisle past me to get the sound booth. I just sat there looking straight ahead. I figured he was going to walk right past me like I wasn't there. I was shocked he stopped and spoke. He asked how my week was and I said fine. I asked how his was and he told me what he had done on his first week at work. It was awkward. I couldn't look him in the face. I just couldn't do it. What was running though my mind was why are you even asking? If you can't talk to me outside of church then why talk to me at church?
I was hoping to go to lunch with our friends (the one I was supposed to meet at Starbucks). His parents are out of town. Our friend told me that she and her husband were going to take him to lunch and she was going to try to talk to him. That was ok. I went to a baby shower for a girl at our church. The room had gotten quiet and someone asks me how his new job is going. I guess no one knows what has happened. I answered. And then 20 more questions about him followed. I just answered them and moved on. That stung. Really hurt. To have all of your church members tell you how happy they are for the two of you. I couldn't bring myself to tell them he broke up with me. I asked my friend when we could meet but I haven't been able to get a response.
I am just struggling right now. Discouraged. Hurting. Sad. I miss him so much.
Hey Mindy, it is hard to be around people who do not know your situation and they ask questions. I go through that all the time. Be encouraged in the Lord and may Christ strengthen your heart.
With the people at church, it really should be a community we can be honest with, to share our hurts and struggles, along with our joys and triumphs. To ask for intercessory prayer and for guidance and wisdom and support.
For me, i will admit, I have not shared, for one, to protect her.
We have to see the church as our family. If you don't feel comfortable enough to seek help from those in the church then you may want to find a new church.
How can you keep quit about this. You go to the house of the Lord but you don't lay out what your struggle is, how can the church pray for you? How can they support you?
Do not be ashamed of your situation. Know that God is using you in many different ways.