Collaborate without boundaries

Day 23....not listening to my sister in law anymore..

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Today I am supposed to remove anything that is hindering ame from my spouse and at this point I would say it has to be my sister in law. She has been a negative force lateley trying to tell me almost daily that I should kick him out etc.  Well last nite when I was at work he took our daughters to Dave and Busters and when I got home he was asleep so I did not have to see him. Then today our older daughter told me how when they were at Dave and Busters they saw a girl there that he was asking dont you remeber me blah blah and was flirting with her and they went to a store in the mall and he was laughing and talking alot to another girl. Our daughter said that she did not like what she saw but he gave her a mean look when she said something about it.  Today he texted me from work asking me to go get his motorcycle vest from a store it had a new patch on it PRO meaning he is the new person who recruits people to the group and will have to attend all parties. This is gonna cause a lot of issues I already know because he already spends a lot of time gone with the club.  His sister texted me that I should be proud of him and that I need to stop having a pitty party and get out and meet people and stop letting him do what he wants and kick him out.  I told her that I have better things to do than go to all this bike stuff like work two jobs to keep a roof over our head.  I told her to not text me anymore about him becuase it is causing me to have more issues. I am trying to pray thru this and make sure that i am making rite decisions with him and family.  Having a discouraging day to say the least 

  • It hurts to the core when they flirt.  And the audacity to do it in front of the kids too.  But Christ is more so with you in these moments, and joy can be still found.

    But in his mind, and take this as a positive, not a negative, he is not viewing the marriage much at all, he is trying to see himself single.  So he can justify the flirting and talking.  He's thinking flirting is not causing harm, because he isn't being physical.  

    Mine did the same things, and with the kids present also a few times.  But, you can do nothing to stop it.  You can protect your marriage and say how it is wrong for a married man to do such things.  But that's all you can do.

    Realize he does not think he is doing anything wrong, or at least he's allowing evil to pull the wool over his eyes.  So, really, just take this with a grain of salt and thank God he isn't physical with these women.  

    Pray for all involved.  And forgive all involved.

  • Thats what I'm trying to do Tim, it gets so hard.  Our daughter just asked me as I was typing this why does daddy have so many codes on his phone, she said that he has a code to dial it, a code to read his messages and a code to use camera and his fb and everything.  He has his phone locked down so hard he must be hiding stuff.  The good thing about it is that I have not had a desire to try to look at his phone is a very long time because I know all it will do is cause me to hurt so I stay far away.

  • I know.....why bother having a code if nothing to hide.  but, my 77 year old mother has her phone locked down too.  Our whole family does to, except for me.  with the phone, and the flirting, remember love believes the best, nothing more serious is happening.  And remember the 85,10,5% rule.  You're falling in the 10% with the flirting and probably the 85% for the phone.  He could have a dead, broken phone and he would still lock it down just to make you wonder.

    I just found a note, it was near a gift fro a daughter she just brought out of the car.  I took a glance.  Sheojldn't have, but did before realizing it.  It had what looked like her friend's taco bell orders.  one was for Tom.  I know no Tom's.  So, i will beleive the best, it is her girlfriend's boyfriend and it was a very old note.  

    We can dwell on their sins or dwell in the peace of Christ.  

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