Collaborate without boundaries

Day 21 making time to pray

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Todays dare is another dare that I really needed. I have been trying daily to make sure that I spend more time reading the bible and praying and trying to not focus on my husband or our life.  He has continued to be very cold and distant and is not speaking to me at all. His sister sent me a text today saying that she thinks that he is ready to leave me and the kdis but he does not know how. I wonder at times if he has said this to her because she does sometimes try to push me to make him leave saying that love is not supposed to be like this blah blah.  I have been ignoring him more that I ever have, I dont speak to him, I dont text him good morning, I dont try to make any eye contact or anything, I pretty much try to make myself invisible to him. I feel like in a way he is only here because of our daughter.  He has started to come home later after work than he was and is gone before I get home if he happens to be off, he makes sure he avoids me I guess. I feel like we are growing more and more apart to where we may never be able to come back together. I still love him and try to love him the way a wife is supposed to and I try to not get upset when he is distancing himself from me and instead feel sorry for him because he must be struggling on the inside with some feeling about things, its hard to think that he wouldnt be.  I am trying today to keep my focus on God like I am supposed to and am trying to resist the urge to speak to him when he comes home, becuase I know that anything that I say will not be received the way I intend it to so why bother.  I'm struggling today trying to keep my focus on God even though I know that is where my focus needs to be, but when I see my husband I just want us to be normal and its not the case and will probably never be the case again....

  • You don't know if it will ever be the case again.  But, you know no matter what, if you are in Christ, you will be fine when you trust in His divine providence.

    But doubt is entering your thinking.  And that doubt, reflects on your doubt that all is possible in God.  I know you don't think that, but it is still a reflection.

    So, stop the doubt, and just focus on trust in Christ.  Where you hear the world faith, you can insert the word trust.  

    Also, I know you love him unconditionally.  But you need to keep it also one of your desires, to love him as a wife should love her husband.  Otherwise, you are going through the motions of love, vs making love a verb.

  • As you know your desire for Christ is way above your desire for your husband still.

    I know I am and have been struggling to even realize I have to make an effort to remember to love her, not just go through the motion of showing patience and kindness.

    This I am sure is a struggle for many of us.  But when we just cant activate love as a verb, we must choose to actively lead our heart.  And that is included in Christ's will for us.

  • At this point, it may also be a good idea to say to the Sister in law, please do not text or communicate negativity concerning anything, especially the marriage.  she is becoming a thorn bush you have to walk through in order to stay on Christ's path.  

    All this is a struggle, but you will be grateful you are continuing.  It may not seem like it at times, but the fruit of God's promise is there.

  • Thanks Tim I have been having a lot of doubt today as to if I am doing the rite thing or would it be better if I just do what the world is wanting me to do.  I have been praying tonight for many areas in my life not just this area and I hope that my doubts will go away.

  • The world is so ingrained in us.  We are bombarded by the world's ways and selfishness.  Even in this journey with Christ, the world's ways can still be at the front of our thoughts.

    abandon the world and cling to Christ and His ways.

    I think that is a forward step when you begin praying more for other areas of your life.  Sometimes we are so mired in this journey that all we can pray about is the marriage or our hurts.

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