After our conversation last night where he told me he did not want anything from us and our marriage, I have to admit I was shaken and upset about it. I prayed last night and tried not to let it get to me. He ended up coming home and doing his usual thing, got food and went into the bedroom. Our daughter has been wanting to lay with him and watch tv at night and last nite she would not let him be. This morning was our usual morning, getting ready to start the day without any contact or speaking. I did something that I regret however, I reached out to the woman who he bought the car from actually her husbands old car. She works with him and we are not friends just acquaintances and asked her if he has been saying anything about us, They have been pretty close in the past talking to each other about each others spouses and she told me once that he talks to her about me. It was dumb I should not have done it and I have asked God for forgiveness. Well he found out about it because she told him that I asked her, now he is beyond mad and I am worried he will not come home. I wish she would not have done this, but ultimately it is my fault because I asked her. He thinks now that I am putting other people in our business I'm sure. I found out because I had messaged his best friend another thing I should not have done but it was actually about possibly getting him the speakers for our anniversary and was asking him to help me with that, well he told his best friend today that I had reached out to this woman and he was mad. So I have set myself up for this one I am sure. I feel like I am in high school rite now with the he said she said, but again I am taking full responsibilty for it, I should not have asked her anything and I should not have asked him for help witht he speaker, I contacted him becuase he knows exactly what he would want and where to get it. I did reach out to my husband prior to all this to tell him that I got offered a job at a place where I really want to work. I had to leave him a message of course because he did not answer the phone. I also told him that I am grateful for all that he does for our family and how by use working together we have been able to overcome some huge obstacles that we have faced financially lately and that I was grateful for all he has done to contribute. Dare completed I guess. Now I just wait and see what the aftermath of all this will be, I know I have to have no expectations and try to believe the best. Praying....
Ah Michelle, don't beat yourself up too badly. I have a long trail of "wish I hadn'ts" behind me and they only make me feel lousy when I dwell on them. The thing I have to keep telling myself is that I repented, God forgave and come what may, God is bigger than any of my mistakes. May take a little longer for the fruit to come because I created a mess, but God will accomplish what God wants to accomplish in spite of us. Just put it behind you and don't let the enemy bring it back up to torment you with it. You repented and God forgave you. That settles it. Remember God is bigger than anything we mess up. :) Hang in there!
As Linda said, God covers our mistakes. but when you want comfort in knowing something, seek God's comfort first, and let His comfort suffice. This will blow over.
Michelle. Take care of yourself and focus on yourself. You have been at this a long time. As long as you keep reaching out to him and he keeps kicking dirt back in your face, he feels he is in control. Begin to take care of yourself and you may see a difference. God makes our crooked places straight, TD Jakes says. That is He covers mistakes.