Today I decided to take a different approach to my dare. Instead of asking my huasband about rules of engagement when we argue I decided to just make my list. Usually when I ask him for feedback it usually does not end well. The past few days have been filled with little glimmers of good in my life and bad. After my last post and reading some of the comments and talking to my sister in law after the night me and my husband had on Sunday night, i have decided that it is best that I just keep focused on me and the kids and y continued hourney with Christ. I cannot change the circumstances with my husband or his behavior or how he feels about me, I can only control myself and my journey. I started to read a full chapter in the bible each day and have tried to only focus on praising God for what is good and turning over my worry to him. Monday we had to communicate a few times on the phone about the truck and that was it. That nite of course he acted like his life was so miserable. Our daughter always seems to pick up on this stuff and this is when she will say daddy come give me and mommy a hug goodnite, or daddy we need our kisses and of course he only participates with her and she gets mad and says mommy loves you, you need to be nice to her. Tuesday I went to file my taxes finally after we got the truck. He had already filed his and instead of doing married like we always do he decided to file married but seperate and this of course effected my taxes because I could not claim head of household since we are in the same house. He is getting a couple of thousand back and I'm barely getting 500 total. But I praised God for this amount becasue it is better than nothing and I am not even going to count on his for anything since he wanted to file seperate Im sure he may have some plans with his... That nite when we got home he acted the same like his life is just so horrible. His sister texted me asking me if I am going to go to his bike club party in April because apparently he made a comment to her about how Watch Michelle will show up even though she does not go to any other parties, He always seems to find a way to be negative about me no matter the situation. Thru all of this I have remained calm with him, still greeitng him with love, giving him space, not bothering him or talking to him unless he calls me first. I am making my list tonight and it includes listening witthout getting angry, trying to think before I speak and using a calm tone instead of abrasive. I have learned alot thru my dares, It is still difficult to just shut the feelings off and hand God all my worries. This weekend is my sons birthday and it has been hard to find a lot of joy in that because we have been so short on money, but I am making it work and hopefully he has a good birthday. My husband has a "mandatory" bike event he has to go to so who knows if he will even be around, I'm not going to have any expectations but did thank him for letting me know. My son is his stepson so my expectations are non existent even though he has been in his life for the past 8 years. Continuing to pray....
IF this was your first or second or third round I would say you manipulated the dare to make it easier on you. but, being on the 6th round, I will leave that up to you.
He is just showing his frustrations when he says watch Michelle show up to the party. He will talk negative at times about you. But, people will see it is him, not you, that is the one that has the problem.
Filing married jointly, would you both have gotten more money back? if so, and the timing is right, maybe ask him if he would want to file an ammended form to get the extra cash back.
Keep being patient in this. He will hit a wall or a breaking point some day. I know it gets old hearing stay patient. But, what else can you do while leaving it in Christ's hands?