Collaborate without boundaries

Day 9 post 2

  • Comments 2

Well the rest of the day did not go very well at all..  We both got home from work around the same time and we were outside playing with our daughter for awhile.  she ended up falling down and scraping her hand not bad but it was bleeding and he yells across the yard to me you f'ing idiot come take care of her, he was rite beside her. I didnt say a word I just went and picked her up and cleaned her up. We got in the house and I fixed dinner and he sat in the living room and ate which he usually does not do and he was looking at me sideways every now and then. I did not speak to him I just talked to the kids. Last nite when I slept in the bed it was because I am tired of sleeping in our daughters room and her bed gives me a back an neck ache and I dont sleep well. So I asked him nicely I said would it be ok if I start sleeping in here again, its just a bed I wont touch you or anything I just want to sleep. He said to me no he said once we get the truck back tomorrow he will go sleep somewhere else if that is what I want if I want to sleep in the room he will go sleep somewhere else. This upset me and I said to him why are you still doing this, I am not doing anything to you, I dont bother you. I said to him if you are only here for the kids let me know. if you dont want to be married let me know. He said to me I dont want to talk about it just leave me alone, why cant you listen and just leave me alone.  I'm tired of this game with him. I give up, he obviously does not love me because you dont treat someone you love like this. He obviously wants a divorce and is only here because of the finances and the truck and the kids so why bother anymore. He hates me he doesnt want anything to do with me. I try and try to just turn the other cheek and leave him alone, but sometimes it gets to be too much. I know I have become stronger in Christ but it still hurts to be ignored and rejected by the person you love. I dont think I can keep doing this. I give up. 

  • We all at one time or another want to ask those questions you asked.   Because we look at our spouse wanting comfort from them, and we need to look only to Christ to be comforted.  Even in the best marriage no spouse can fully satisfy our needs, but Christ can.

    These questions can only lead him to react the way he did.  

    He was being rude, but he is right, just leave him alone.  Other than the dares since you are still doing them.  

    Even if he is still there only because of the truck, the finances, and the kids, that is good, for he is your husband, and maybe Christ has designed the finaances the vehicle problems the way they are so he feels he has to stay.

    But really, if he wanted out, he would find a way.  

    When the point comes that it is just to much.  Be still and know He is God.  These moments when it feels futile and you want to give up are the times evil is gloating, thinking it has succeeded.  

    i know you love him.  But are you hurting so much because you love him so much, or because you want to remain marriage so much?  I dont think either answer is wrong, as long as you have Christ above him and the marriage.   And that is when comfort comes.  

  • Michelle, girl, I have been around since you started the first dare.  I don't want to be harsh.  I KNOW you are hurting.  I know you have a lot on you.  I know you have a lot of things going against you.  I have to say, though, that your posts aren't changing.  You are having the same conversations with him about the same things that you were months ago.    YOU continue to let what he says hurt you when YOU have the choice to be you and find the you that shines no matter what he does or says.  It is time to do something different.  Are you spending more time in the Bible than you were months ago?  Have you studied a book from beginning to end?  Do you know more than you did at the beginning about what God has to say?  Change your routine.  Don't be where he is used to you being everyday.  Do something unexpected just for fun.  Shake things up for YOU and your daughter - not him.  Change something about your situation, no matter how small.  You seem to be as stuck as he is!  You can do this.  You are tough and God has you!

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